An Ode to My Ear

I woke up this morning feeling ‘ear’itable,
Which is strange, to say the least.
I’m usually a fun, easygoing guy,
Not some rampant beast.

I had this ‘ear’y feeling,
That something was amiss.
I have never had a morning,
Where I have awoken as off as this.

I felt a little lopsided,
Like a piece of me was gone.
My mom came busting into my room,
Yelling about my curtains still being drawn.

She gave me quite the earful,
With a pillow over my head.
She walked right up to me,
And ripped the sheets off my bed.

As she walked out the door,
I heard her turn and say,
“Up and at ’em now, dear,
There will be no lounging today!”

Ugh, I remember now,
It’s family party day.
I will have to listen to them ramble,
With no chance of getting away.

I shuffle to my dresser,
And look in the mirror above.
I examine first my left side, then my right,
Looking for something to love.

And then it hits me!
Like a curse to the head.
I can survive this family party,
Without me playing dead.

How could I miss it!
It is as plain as the nose on my face!
I am missing an appendage,
There is nothing in its place!

My hearing now is lacking,
I have to keep my ear to the ground.
Despite searching high and low,
My ear was never found!

I will use my saintlike spirit,
And my devilish wit,
To survive this party,
And get my family to quit!

I’ll pretend I am hard of hearing,
Not to mention ear puns galore!
My bold joking manner,
Will have my family crying, “No more!”

The time has come, I have to go!
My family has to be all ears!
Hopefully, my punny jokes,
Don’t leave them all in tears.

I appreciate you lending me your ear,
To tell my little tale.
I hope to see you again soon,
And that your hearing will never fail!