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  • Song Parodies

The Slug Club

by Aimee Krenz · February 23, 2017

to the tune of “The Love Club” by Lorde

I’m in a clique, and I want out.
It’s not the same as when I was young.
In the old days, there was enough.
The mind games and spells with the bitter salt of blood.
I was in, but I want out.
Bella’s love is choking me.
I’m sick of words that hang above my head.
Poof, they’re dead. It’s time the Lord got free.

Be a part of the Slug Club.
Every wand will glow for you.
You’ll rule in the Slug Club.
Rule the Slug Club.

I joined the club, and it’s all on.
There are fights for being my best friend,
And the boys get their masks out.
There’s something about hanging out with the wicked kids,
Make the kill, make it too real.
The other day I forgot my Horcruxes.
I’m sitting pretty on my throne.
There’s nothing more I want,
Except to be alone.

Be a part of the Slug Club.
Every wand will glow for you.
You’ll get killed in the Slug Club,
Cuz it’s my club.

My robes are soaked, and I don’t know where to go.
I dropped my wand and took myself back home,
And rolled out my maps and papers,
Find out my hiding places again.
The only problem that I got with the club,
Is that I didn’t kill the people who watched me grow up.
Harry Potter’s a threat, but he escaped death… again.
I will be waiting at the end.

Be a part of the Slug Club.
Every wand will glow for you.
You’ll never leave the Slug Club.
The Slug Club.

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MuggleNet Archive

Important Dates

December 2025

Wed, Dec 17

First meeting of the Dueling Club
Recurs yearly

1992

Harry discovers he is a Parselmouth
Recurs yearly

1992

Thu, Dec 18

Fred and George give Harry the Marauder's Map
Recurs yearly

1993

Harry and Cho kiss in the Room of Requirement
Recurs yearly

1995

James Payton's birthday
Recurs yearly

Frank Longbottom

Nagini attacks Mr. Weasley
Recurs yearly

1995

Nearly Headless Nick and Justin Finch-Fletchley are petrified
Recurs yearly

1992

Fri, Dec 19

Harry and the Weasleys visit St. Mungo's
Recurs yearly

1995

Sat, Dec 20

Luna is captured by Death Eaters
Recurs yearly

1997

Slughorn's Christmas party
Recurs yearly

1996

SpeakBeasty's anniversary
Recurs yearly

2015

Mon, Dec 22

Ralph Fiennes's birthday
Recurs yearly

Lord Voldemort (GoF-DH2)

Tue, Dec 23

Alison Sudol's birthday
Recurs yearly

Queenie Goldstein

Nick Moran's birthday
Recurs yearly

Scabior

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