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  • Song Parodies

The Slug Club

by Aimee Krenz · February 23, 2017

to the tune of “The Love Club” by Lorde

I’m in a clique, and I want out.
It’s not the same as when I was young.
In the old days, there was enough.
The mind games and spells with the bitter salt of blood.
I was in, but I want out.
Bella’s love is choking me.
I’m sick of words that hang above my head.
Poof, they’re dead. It’s time the Lord got free.

Be a part of the Slug Club.
Every wand will glow for you.
You’ll rule in the Slug Club.
Rule the Slug Club.

I joined the club, and it’s all on.
There are fights for being my best friend,
And the boys get their masks out.
There’s something about hanging out with the wicked kids,
Make the kill, make it too real.
The other day I forgot my Horcruxes.
I’m sitting pretty on my throne.
There’s nothing more I want,
Except to be alone.

Be a part of the Slug Club.
Every wand will glow for you.
You’ll get killed in the Slug Club,
Cuz it’s my club.

My robes are soaked, and I don’t know where to go.
I dropped my wand and took myself back home,
And rolled out my maps and papers,
Find out my hiding places again.
The only problem that I got with the club,
Is that I didn’t kill the people who watched me grow up.
Harry Potter’s a threat, but he escaped death… again.
I will be waiting at the end.

Be a part of the Slug Club.
Every wand will glow for you.
You’ll never leave the Slug Club.
The Slug Club.

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MuggleNet Archive

Important Dates

November 2025

Tue, Nov 4

Binns tells class about the Chamber of Secrets
Recurs yearly

1992

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone movie (London premiere)
Recurs yearly

2001

Wed, Nov 5

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone Deluxe Illustrated Edition (UK)
Recurs yearly

2015

Thu, Nov 6

Hero Fiennes-Tiffin's birthday
Recurs yearly

11-year-old Tom Riddle (HBP)

Whomping Willow destroys Nimbus 2000
Recurs yearly

1993

Hermione checks out Moste Potente Potions
Recurs yearly

1992

Fri, Nov 7

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them Illustrated Edition
Recurs yearly

2017

Lockhart removes the bones in Harry's right arm
Recurs yearly

1992

Sat, Nov 8

Chris Rankin's birthday
Recurs yearly

Percy Weasley

Colin Creevey is Petrified
Recurs yearly

1992

Sun, Nov 9

Harry catches the Snitch in his mouth during his first Quidditch match
Recurs yearly

1991

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Did You Know

Harry Potter’s middle name is James, Hermione Granger’s is Jean, Ginny Weasley’s is Molly – after her mother – and poor old Ron Weasley’s is Bilius.

Potter History

July 16, 2005 – Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince book is released internationally in English to the delight of Harry Potter fans everywhere.

Potter Quote

“Are you insane? Of course I want to leave the Dursleys! Have you got a house? When can I move in?”

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