Lies “Harry Potter” Fans Like to Tell Themselves

1. You have time to rewatch that movie.

We’ve all been there. You’re flipping through channels, and you see that one of them is playing a Harry Potter movie or movie marathon. And well, you totally have to watch this movie again. You have to. It’s one of your favorites! And who cares if you had things to do or needed to leave in a half hour. It will all work out, right?

2. You can afford to buy that.

You’ve found it, the most awesome piece of Potter merch in existence. Or maybe it’s a ticket to a really cool con, like MuggleNet Live. Either way, you can totally afford to buy it. You need it, after all. And it doesn’t cost that much. Sure, maybe you just spent a ton of money last month on various Potter-related stuff, but that was then. All that matters right now is that you’re buying this.

3. Your friends don’t mind hearing you rant (again).

Maybe it’s your opinion on Cursed Child, maybe it’s your theory about where the real Percival Graves is, or maybe it’s your in-depth analysis about which Houses characters from different fandoms would be Sorted into. Regardless of which, your friends don’t mind hearing all again. After all, no one could ever be sick of talking about Harry Potter. Yes, even the people who’ve never actually read or seen it.

4. They aren’t dead.

None of your favorite characters have ever died, ever. Fred was just knocked unconscious by that wall, but he totally woke up later. Tonks and Remus were just sleeping in the Great Hall, that’s all. Sirius wandered out of the Veil a few days later with Starbucks asking what he’d missed. Hedwig is still flying around, and as for Dobby, he just dodged, end of story. They are all still alive and very happy, and no one can tell you otherwise.

5. You didn’t cry.

When you were 11, you definitely didn’t wait up for hours, hoping to see your Hogwarts letter come, and even if you did, you definitely didn’t cry when you realized it hadn’t shown up. Your eyes were completely dry the whole day. It’s not like your hopes and dreams were crushed that day or anything like that. And no, your parents will not say something different if asked about it.

6. It just got lost.

The reason you didn’t cry about not getting your letter is because it still exists. Your letter just got lost or something. It’s probably Voldemort’s fault. After all, when he took over the Ministry of Magic, none of the letters to Muggle-borns would have gone out. So that’s why you didn’t get your letter. And it’ll arrive any day now, you’re sure of it.

7. You’re not that obsessed.

I mean, sure, you really love Harry Potter, but your obsession isn’t that bad. Yes, you do own a lot of Potter-related stuff, and yes, you’ve read and rewatched it dozens of times, but that’s still pretty normal. You do talk about it a lot, but it’s not the only thing you talk about, just the main thing. And wearing your House robes around the house is not that weird. So really, it’s a fairly tame obsession, all things considered. It’s not like you write for MuggleNet, right?