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  • Song Parodies

Wands Up

by Sana Nawaz · December 21, 2021

to the tune of “MIC Drop” by BTS 

Yeah, you say according to the prophecy I deserve to die?
I don’t care, get your wands out, I’m good and alive
You’re just tryin’ to get me
Voldy-moldy, every year, every time
Once again, I will get out, keep tryin’, oh – 

World’s best wizard
Dumbledore’s on my side
The whole of Hogwarts 
Is on my side
I’m the – I’m the –
Chosen One, Voldy
Dark wizards in hiding, stay hidden
‘Cause my wand’s – wand’s bungee-ing!

Wand wand bungee
Bright lights, incoming 
You thought you could kill me
Well, I’m fine, sorry

I’m sorry, Ministry
I’m sorry, Death Eaters 
I’m still winning at life 
I’m so sorry, Dark Lord

I’m doing so well 
After surviving your Killing Curse
In all of Hogwarts, 
I’ve got so many loved ones

I do it, I do it 
You’re a tasteless apple pudding 
If you’re so jealous, come again 
And try to kill me

Do you see my friends?
Do you see my friends?
They’re all here with me plotting your end
What ya think ’bout that?
What ya think ’bout that?
I bet it got your Death Eaters hella sad

Come and follow me, follow me
Get your wands up
One Expelliarmus from me,
And, Tom, your time’s up
Keep on flying and flying
Until I catch up
How you dare? How you dare? How you dare?

Another Horcrux! My hands carry ’em
I have got five, I think I’m number seven
Wands up, wands up
Watch your feet, feet – tread carefully
Watch your head, head – you just keep blabbering

Somebody stop me
I’m about to pop off
Too busy, you know my body ain’t enough
Wands up, wands up
Watch your feet, feet – tread carefully
Watch your head, head – you just keep blabbering

Voldy, watch your head
It comes back around
Once upon a time
I learned how to fly
Go look at your mirror
You got no nose
You know how I feel?
Damn good!

Do you know how many hours I fly?
I keep on dreaming on the clouds
Now I’m at Hogwarts, now I’m at Forest of Dean
Every day I’m hunting
Wands up, swish!

Do you see my friends?
Do you see my friends?
They’re all here with me plotting your end
What ya think ’bout that?
What ya think ’bout that?
I bet it got your Death Eaters hella sad

Come and follow me, follow me
Get your wands up
One Expelliarmus from me,
And, Tom, your time’s up
Keep on flying and flying
Until I catch up
How you dare? How you dare? How you dare?

Another Horcrux! My hands carry ’em
I have got Nagini, bloody hell, I’m number seven
Wands up, wands up
Watch your feet, feet – tread carefully
Watch your head, head – you just keep blabbering

Somebody stop me
I’m about to pop off
Too busy, you know my body ain’t enough
Wands up, wands up
Watch your feet, feet – tread carefully
Watch your head, head – you just keep blabbering

Death Eaters gonna hate
Quidditch players gonna play
Live a life, Tom
Good luck!

Don’t need you anymore
This is my last goodbye
Don’t even need to see you anymore
Don’t even apologize

See, this is how you end up with your heartless brain
So fizzy, I’m like a fresh can of butterbeer
Your eyes turn darker when you find me near
‘Cause I’m the Chosen One, the Chosen One
You hear me, yeah?

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