Rubeus Hagrid’s List of New Year’s Resolutions

If you’re anything like us, we know that your holidays have been full of cozy knitted socks, a cup of hot cocoa, and a Harry Potter movie marathon. But as the holidays wind down, we are faced with a brand new year just around the corner. With this in mind, we thought it would be fun to make a list of New Year’s resolutions from our favorite half-giant, Rubeus Hagrid. Here’s what he might want to get done next year.

1. Don’t give any top-secret information to Harry, Ron, or Hermione… or anyone else.

2. Provide the best show-and-tell, including the most dangerous creatures, for spring lessons in Care of Magical Creatures. Everyone will be really impressed.

3. Find better ways to make the scary creatures cuter.

4. Perfect the best rock cake recipe.

5. Get Grawp to stop scaring all the wildlife in the Forbidden Forest.

6. Get Grawp to pronounce my name correctly. It’s Hag-rid.

7. Since my name is cleared, and I didn’t unleash a horrible beast on a young, innocent girl, I’m going to petition the board of governors to continue my schooling at Hogwarts somehow. It will definitely be easier without Lucius Malfoy on the board.

8. On second thought, kids are ruddy gits sometimes. Maybe I can do some night classes?

9. Find my own enchanted flying motorbike.

10. Learn how to cast a Patronus.

11. Arrange a visit with Charlie to see Norberta in Romania.

12. Finally create a headstone for Aragog.

13. Buy a new fur coat. This one is startin’ ter stink.

14. Make Harry the best birthday cake… and don’t sit on this one.

15. Coordinate with Professor Sprout for a combined mandrake and Dugbog lesson.