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  • The Dirigible Plum / The Quibbler

Top Tips for Surviving Hogwarts

by Jessica Thompson · September 14, 2022

Welcome back to Hogwarts! It has now been a couple of weeks since we all took the Hogwarts Express back to the castle we call home. Unfortunately, as we know all too well, Hogwarts isn’t the safest of places. From the staircases that have a mind of their own to any class taught by Hagrid, there are plenty of ways you can get injured at Hogwarts. Thankfully for you, as part of our work experience for The Quibbler, we interviewed both students and staff for some of their tips for surviving the new school year.

 

Percy Weasley

Everybody’s favorite Head Boy at Hogwarts almost refused to have a word with us, but when he found out that our article would be read by dozens upon dozens of Hogwarts students, he couldn’t say no. He had some wisdom to impart to other Hogwarts students, and that wisdom is to make sure you study and keep up to date with all of your homework. If you’re in the common room each night, you have less chance of getting caught up in some dangerous plot or scheme that could injure you. And Percy did want us to add that this was only somewhat directed at his younger brother Ron and that getting caught up in whatever mischief Harry is getting himself into this year is going to reduce the chance of getting a good job at the Ministry.

 

 

 

Cedric Diggory

None other than Hufflepuff’s own heartthrob, Cedric Diggory, gave us his advice on what he does to survive the school year, and that is to make the most of it. Playing Quidditch is a dangerous sport, and there are always risks involved, but he said that shouldn’t put you off doing something. If you are prepared to take the risk, then go for it. When we asked him to elaborate on this, he said that he had to go put his name into the Goblet of Fire and hurried off, so we have to take his advice as it is.

 

 

 

Horace Slughorn

We caught up with everybody’s favorite Potions Master (because we all know that isn’t Snape) and asked him what his advice was. His advice – and this was something that shocked us – was that if you want to do well at Hogwarts and in life in general, it isn’t what you do and the grades that you achieve that matters; it is who you know. He told us that if you have contacts and friends in high places, then you need not worry, for you are set for life and that anyone in the Slug Club is guaranteed to get this opportunity. Sadly, the Slug Club is by invitation only, and those lucky enough to attend will be informed within the next two weeks.

 

Horace Slughorn holding Felix Felicis

 

 

Remus Lupin

Everyone’s favorite teacher was more than happy to give us some advice on the best way to make it through your next Hogwarts year in one piece. He recommends always carrying Honeydukes’s finest chocolate with you. Whether it is for the latest Dementor attack on school grounds or to help you feel better after a Potions class with Snape, chocolate can always help you out.

 

Remus Lupin in Prisoner of Azkaban

 

 

Fred and George Weasley

Who doesn’t love the Weasley twins? They certainly know a thing or two about Hogwarts, so of course we had to interview them about what advice they have for making it through another school year, and they gave us what we think is the best advice. Their advice is to just have fun. Life can be stressful sometimes, especially with the homework that some teachers assign. They told us that although school is something some see as important, having fun and making the most of your time there with your friends is just as important. Those will be the things you remember the most in the years to come.

 

 

 

Sybill Trelawney

Getting an interview with none other than Sybill Trelawney was not easy. In fact, seeing a Crumple-Horned Snorkack in the wild is more likely to happen than this. But Sybill did say that she would give us a minute to give out what she says will help you survive this new school year – which is to consult your Inner Eye to see the future and what dangers it may hold. She does also want to apologize to Harry Potter because yet again, he will meet a horrible and agonizing death (something other teachers deny).

 

 

 

And there you go. Just some advice if you want to get through this new school year. Do you have any advice on how to survive this school? If you do, please let us know. We will take any advice for making it through whatever this year decides to throw at us.

 

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  • Next story Diary of a First Year – Part 7
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MuggleNet Archive

Important Dates

September 2025

Tue, Sep 2

Faux Moody transfigures Draco into a ferret
Recurs yearly

1994

Gregorovitch is murdered by Lord Voldemort
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1997

Harry gets the Half-Blood Prince's Potions book
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1996

Trio breaks into the Ministry of Magic and acquires Slytherin's locket
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1997

Wed, Sep 3

Harry buries Alastor Moody's magical eye
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Harry's first detention with Professor Umbridge
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Lockhart lets Cornish pixies loose in class
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1992

Thu, Sep 4

Ellie Darcey-Alden's birthday
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Young Lily Evans

Hermione forms SPEW
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1994

Moody's first DADA lesson
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1994

Fri, Sep 5

Harry hears the Basilisk in the walls for the first time
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1992

Ron's wand backfires as he tries to curse Malfoy; Eat Slugs!
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1992

Sat, Sep 6

Harry's first potions class, where he loses 5 points for Gryffindor
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1991

Hogwarts: An Incomplete and Unreliable Guide, Heroism, Hardship and Dangerous Hobbies, & Power, Politics and Pesky Poltergeists (short stories; e-book) released - 2016
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It’s high time I paid homage to the mighty MuggleNet. Where to start? I love the design, (I currently favour the ‘Dementor’ layout), the polls (I actually voted in the ‘Who’s the Half-Blood Prince?’ one), the pretty-much-exhaustive information on all books and films, the wonderful editorials (more insight there than in several companion volumes I shall not name), 101 Ways to Annoy Lord Voldemort (made me laugh aloud), the Wall of Shame (nearly as funny as some of the stuff I get)… pretty much everything. Webmaster Emerson, Eric, Jamie, Damon, Ben, Matthew, Rachel, Jaymz and Sharon, I salute you.

http://web.archive.org/web/20040907101729/http://www.jkrowling.com/textonly/fansite_view.cfm?id=15

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1996

Hugh Mitchell's birthday
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Colin Creevey

Toby Jones's birthday
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Voice of Dobby

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