Top Ten Signs Your Kid Is a Wizard

Because magic can sprout from anywhere!

10. When he enters a room there is a burst of purple smoke
9. You say, “Do you think that lawn is gonna mow itself?” But then it does
8. He gets busted shoplifting a newt
7. Can turn lead into gold, but he can’t remember to take out the trash – am I right, parents?
6. He wears shiny red satin robes – and you’re praying he’s just a wizard
5. Favorite discount electronics store: “The Wiz”
4. He refers to Halloween as “amateur night”
3. He’s only 12, but somehow he’s dating Gwyneth Paltrow
2. His favorite excuse is that “his homework ate the dog”
1. You catch him in the bathroom polishing his wand

Originally appearing on: “The Late Show with David Letterman”