Top Ten Ways to Aggravate Albus Dumbledore


Guaranteed to get you a few extra trips to the Headmaster’s office.

  1. Run, panting into his office and say, “Professor, Professor! Voldemort has invaded Hogwarts!” Then lead him all around the school for the rest of the day and night, muttering, “I thought I saw him in this corridor.”
  2. Follow him around all day, screaming, “IT WAS SNAPE’S FAULT! IT WAS SNAPE’S FAULT!”
  3. When you are called into his office to be lectured for poor behavior sit there and click a pen the entire time. When he pauses, say, “Ooo, clicky! Too bad they don’t make quills like this. I’m sorry, Albus, what were you saying?”
  4. Mention the “incompetence of Mudbloods,” at every opportunity.
  5. When he is making his speech at the first speech in the great Hall, whistle, clap your hands, and say “Yeah, Dumble, you got dis, you got dis!” continuously throughout the entire thing.
  6. Hold a contest among your fellow students of, “Who Can Say Dumbledore’s Full Name the Fastest?”
  7. Inform him that Ron accidentally infected his lemon drops with the Spattergroit (make sure that you do this while he’s eating one.)
  8. Invite the giant squid to the Yule Ball and thell Dumbledore that you absolutely insist that he be allowed to attend.
  9. Whenever Harry is summoned to his ofice for one of their private chats, be sure to mutter about “favoritism.”
  10. Invite Voldemort and all of the Death Eaters to the Great Hall for tea.

Submitted by: Rose

Eric S.

Eric Scull joined MuggleNet in November of 2002. Since that time, he’s presided over a number of sections, including name origins and Dear Hogwarts, but none so long as the recently revived Crazy Caption Contest. Eric is a Hufflepuff who lives in Chicago and loves the outdoors.