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  • Song Parodies

The Slug Club

by Aimee Krenz · February 23, 2017

to the tune of “The Love Club” by Lorde

I’m in a clique, and I want out.
It’s not the same as when I was young.
In the old days, there was enough.
The mind games and spells with the bitter salt of blood.
I was in, but I want out.
Bella’s love is choking me.
I’m sick of words that hang above my head.
Poof, they’re dead. It’s time the Lord got free.

Be a part of the Slug Club.
Every wand will glow for you.
You’ll rule in the Slug Club.
Rule the Slug Club.

I joined the club, and it’s all on.
There are fights for being my best friend,
And the boys get their masks out.
There’s something about hanging out with the wicked kids,
Make the kill, make it too real.
The other day I forgot my Horcruxes.
I’m sitting pretty on my throne.
There’s nothing more I want,
Except to be alone.

Be a part of the Slug Club.
Every wand will glow for you.
You’ll get killed in the Slug Club,
Cuz it’s my club.

My robes are soaked, and I don’t know where to go.
I dropped my wand and took myself back home,
And rolled out my maps and papers,
Find out my hiding places again.
The only problem that I got with the club,
Is that I didn’t kill the people who watched me grow up.
Harry Potter’s a threat, but he escaped death… again.
I will be waiting at the end.

Be a part of the Slug Club.
Every wand will glow for you.
You’ll never leave the Slug Club.
The Slug Club.

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Important Dates

December 2025

Sun, Dec 7

Henry Shaw, Jr. is killed
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1926

Wed, Dec 10

Hermione steals Polyjuice Potion ingredients
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1992

Sir Kenneth Branagh's birthday
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Gilderoy Lockhart

Thu, Dec 11

Rita Skeeter interviews Hagrid
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1994

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Bill Nighy's birthday
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Sat, Dec 13

The Tales of Beedle the Bard sells at auction for $4 million
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2007

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Did You Know

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