Week of May 8, 2005
All this time, what was thought of as alien life to Scully and Mulder was just garden gnomes in the Weasley’s backyard.
Mulder: Remember, Scully, don’t let your guard down… This Alfonso is a slippery guy.
Scully: Are you sure he’s an alien?
Mulder: Who else would make such a good story into such a bad movie?!
Harry: Ron, we look utterly stunning in these Muggle please-men outfits!
Ron: I’d say we look fabulous! It goes especially well with my ever growing hair!
Scully: Well, here we are. Welcome to our new office, Mulder…
Mulder: Sheesh – When I heard the Bureau was making cut backs, I thought we’d just lose a stapler or two..
Scully: Won’t they guess we’re the FBI judging by our jackets?
Mulder: No – haven’t you seen The Simpsons? They think we’re ‘Flowers By Irene’.
Mulder and Scully got out of the car, heading towards the house to the tune of ‘Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves’…
After failing to become Aurors, Ron and Harry decided to pursue the Muggle equivalent.
Scully and Mulder, upon returning to the bureau, were confronted with much pointing and giggles. Little did they know that Fred and George had been hiding in the bushes, and that their jackets now read ‘Fairly Bad Intelligence’.
Typing On Screen:
7 May 1999, 11:21 a.m.
Ottery St. Catchpole, England
Scully: So what are we looking for, exactly?
Mulder: It was a tip-off from the Lone Gunmen. Their sources say that someone in this house is either trying to equip a secret alien army, or is about to open a really, really good joke shop.
FBI: Fantasy Building Inspectors.
FBI: Federal Bureau of Interior/Exterior Design.
Mulder: Here it is, Scully, the Shrieking Shack. They say it’s the most haunted place in Britain.
Scully: Don’t be stupid, Mulder…
Mulder: What? You don’t believe in ghosts?
Scully: Actually, I do, but we all know that Buckingham Palace is the most haunted place in Britain!
-Jake A Ralphing
Scully: Mulder, there is something out there!
Mulder: I know – I’ve been saying that for years!
Scully: ‘No, Mulder, it was the second star to the right, not left! What is it with men and asking for directions?
‘How’d Subway get out here?’
Guy on left: *Excitedly* Did you read the news scroller this week? We’re part of Eric’s favorite T.V. Show!
Girl on right: No, I’m a Mac user… and thanks to him, we’re stuck in his favorite books series…
It’s another episode of CSI: Burrow…
Scully: O.K. Mulder, here is the place where all of those scary screams were heard. I wonder if I put the emergency brake on in the car…?
Mulder: Shoot! Did I forget to turn off the coffee pot!?
Shrieking Shack: Works every time…
Left FBI Person: What does FBI stand for?
Right FBI Person: Finding Black Inside!
Left FBI Person: oh…ok!
Fox Mulder: ‘So Scully…tell me more about these distant relatives of yours…’
The FBI – always on the case. Today’s mission: finding out why ‘The Burrow’ is suspiciously a three-story building, rather than a hole in the ground.
Music Playing: ‘It’s wonderful, wonderful! Oh, so wonderful, my love…’
Mulder: ‘Oh no…..Peacocks!’
Scully: It’s a house, Mulder.
Mulder: No, it’s my destiny. Or… your destiny. Or someone’s destiny. You know – one of those.
Scully: When I signed on to investigate the paranormal, I didnt expect anything like this…
Moulder: I know what you mean – an entire family with red hair….
Scully: My God, its to terrible to imagine!
Mulder: Let me guess… There’s supposed to be a werewolf in there.
Mulder: …And a rat that suddenly metamorphosed into a human.
Mulder: And a convict who escaped the wrath of soul-sucking manifestations of dementia by transforming himself into a dog after he was wrongly convicted a murdering a street full of people with ‘magic’…
Scully: …Actually, we just got reports that someone here actually managed to lick their elbow…
The truth is out there.
Scully: Tell me again why we’re here?
Mulder: Because, I saw an alien in a human’s body enter that house!
Scully: How do you know it was an alien? It could have just been a human..
Mulder: It LICKED its elbow.
Scully: Oh my gosh! Enter with caution!
Ron: *Looking out of window* ‘Fubbi’? What does ‘Fubbi’ mean?
Mulder: ‘You know, the Shrieking Shack is said to be the most haunted -‘
Scully: ‘Oh for God’s sake, Grissom, can’t we go ONE CASE without you spewing obscure trivia? Why don’t you go on Jeopardy or something, get it all out of your system?!’
Mulder: ‘That’s the biggest birdhouse I have ever seen…’
Mulder: What are we doing here? I thought you said you had a lead in the man-eating toaster case…
Scully: Well… Do you remember when I told you my uncle was a magician?
Security before the trailer’s release was high even for Warner Bothers’ standards.
-Kirsten J. and Sammy
The truth is out there…
… J. K. Rowling just hasn’t told us what it is yet.
Scully: Mulder, did you pass your hooked on phonics test?
Scully: You needed to tell those aliens to send us to the Bureau – not the Burrow!
Agent Mulder: So, Scully, my sister never really disappeared – she was accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry!
Mulder: It’s the house of Harry Potters. Records of every Harry Potter that ever lived are in there.
Scully: Do you think that there’s a house of Gillian Andersons?
Mulder: Like there’s really more than one Gillian Anderson in the world?
Gillian: Well actually, there is…
Red sky at night, shepherd’s delight;
Blue sky at morning, federal agent warning!
Plant on the left: ‘You don’t understand! This picture is all about me, but I have a bad photographer and I’m out of focus!
Agent 1: We’re here because we’ve heard that there is a serious obsession with people trying to lick their elbows.
Agent 2: Really? … *Tries to lick elbow*
Woman: What show are we from again?
Man: Who cares? We’re Eric’s favourite!