CC #011: Week of December 29, 2002

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‘Sorry, Harry, we’re out of lollipops. Try Ollivander’s’

Goblin: Does Mr. Harry Potter have his key?
Hagrid: Got it here somewhere.. *Pulls out a ring of keys*
Harry: Hagrid, what are all those for?
Hagrid: Oh, well this ‘un’s fer Hogwarts, this is fer Madam Maxime’s.. Sandra Bullock, Liv Taylor, Cameron Diaz… Minerva..
Harry: Minerva!?!?
Hagrid: I shouldn’ta told yeh that!

Goblin: No, Hagrid, I’ll tell you once more: Our floors are not alive.
Hagrid: Then why does the floor squeak ev’ry time I go ter walk?!?
Voice: heeeelllp..meeee….!!!!
Goblin: You’re stepping on our employees!

Goblin: So, back again Hagrid?
Hagrid: I was only tryin’ ter get to the dragons!
Goblin: Oh, come on, you’re not still on about the one you had…
Hagrid: What if he don’ like Romania?!? What if the other dragons are mean to him?!?

Goblin: Sorry, I don’t take anyone this large at this desk. Go to the ATM over there.
Hagrid: ATM?
Goblin: Automatic Teller Machine. We got it from the Muggles.
Hagrid: Muggles? What is the world coming to?
Harry: Well it is better than going on a half-hour rollercoaster ride just to get a few rusty coins

‘Excuse me, young boy, this is a bank, not a zoo! Could you please take your animal friend and leave? There is an animal shop down the street, you should get good money for him there. Say, when you’re done, you may come back and deposit it!’

Goblin: Two for the Tower of Terror, eh? Well you realize, once you check in, you don’t check out..
Hagrid: What?
Goblin: Oh, sorry.. it was a summer job.. becomes a bit involuntary after a while..

*Squeaky Voice* ‘Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!!!’
-Anne and Sydney

Goblin: Hagrid, you didn’t by chance see Micheal Jackson out there, did you?
Hagrid: No sir, how come you ask?
Goblin: He came in here last night wanting in on vault 713
Hagrid: What’d he do?
Goblin: Hung a few of us out the window, scared the bajesus out of us!

‘Quick, what’s a six letter word for mistake?

Hagrid: Stick ’em up! I want five hundred Galleons, now! This thing’s loaded, I’m warnin’yeh!Goblin: That’s a speech bubble, sir…
Hagrid: Oh..

‘Well, it’s better than playing an Ewok…’

‘I am really tired of being hit on by you tall types.. Just because I’m the right height doesn’t mean I’m that type of goblin!’

Goblin: Dear Diary, I got the Harry Potter 2 video game for Christmas! I really love the part where..
Hagrid: Eh hem..
Goblin: Er.. Does Mr. Harry Potter have his key?

‘Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?’





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Eric S.

Eric Scull joined MuggleNet in November of 2002. Since that time, he’s presided over a number of sections, including name origins and Dear Hogwarts, but none so long as the recently revived Crazy Caption Contest. Eric is a Hufflepuff who lives in Chicago and loves the outdoors.