CC #015: Week of January 26, 2003

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‘So, Potter, I bet you’ve been bored all summer… How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?!’

Draco: Doesn’t it seem peculiar that a short smart-ass blond boy can order around two guys twice his size, and even laugh at them to their face without getting the crap beat out of him?!
Crabbe: Well, yeah.. uh.. It’s in the script?
Draco: Well I’m surprised you’ve read something longer than Spot Goes To The Zoo for once!

‘Ya know, that Mudblood’s definitely developped since the last movie..’

Draco: Hey, how ya doing?
*Girl runs away*
Draco: You guys are ruining my sex-appeal! *sigh* let’s try it again in the Hufflepuff Common Room…

‘No.. My hair is like this for aerodynamic reasons, Potter, not because I think it’s stylish..’

Draco: So, Potter, I heard you got the new Capital One Card!
Harry: Yeah, it’s no hassle–All my credits on just one card!
Goyle: Amazing!
Crabbe: what’s in your wallet?

Draco: So this is My ‘CQ’ pose! Like it? How about my ‘Man of Mystery’ pose, or my ‘Hey, Baby’ pose!
Ron: Hey Malfoy.. What’s your ‘Help! Mad-Eye Moody turned me into a bouncing ferret!’ pose look like?!?

Student: Hey! You’re that Home Alone kid! Can you do that thing with your face where you scream?
Draco: You’re confusing me with the other blonde kid starring in a Chris Columbus movie…

Draco: Harry, you’ve got rid of your scar!
Harry: *whispering to Ron* magic marker.

Goyle: I love the way your hair looks!
Draco: Hey, don’t try your pickup lines on me! Leave me be.. I must stare at Potter and do strange things with my eyebrows..’

Malfoy: Hey, Potter, pssst… you left the barn door open..
*Crabbe and Goyle snigger, Harry looks down*
Harry: aaargh! Hey, Cho! Wait!
-Helen and Geoff

‘So it’s true, then! Harry Potter has found the cure for cancer, solved world hunger, sheltered the homeless, stopped global warming, made peace…’

Draco: You may think I’m Macauly Culkin now, but just wait. Give me one year, and ‘BAM!’, I’m Eminem!

Malfoy: You think my name’s funny, do you? No need to ask for yours.. Red hair and a hand me down robe..
Ron: I know! Isn’t it great!

‘We represent the Lollipop Guild..the Lollipop Guild… the Lollipop Guild!

Draco: So what, Mudblood?!? So what if I am pale? I am English you know..
Ron: Pale? You’re a glass of milk with hair!

‘Come on! I act just as well as Leo or Hanks, and do they sign me for Catch Me If You Can? No!

‘No, I assure you. My hairstyle does not have anything to do with the Ken Doll!’

Malfoy: Yes, Crabbe, I hate to break it to you, but the note on your back says, ‘somebody smack this boy upside the head with a Bludger!’ And – It’s signed by your Mum! *Sigh* At least I’m rich and have a mother that loves me!
Goyle: Then, Why does the note signed by your mother on your back say, ‘Lock this kid up with a rampaging hippogriff, The first one didn’t finish the job‘?
Malfoy: What? *sniff* Mumsey, no!

Crabbe: If you do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself about, is that really what it’s all about?
Goyle: Dude, that’s sooo deep

‘I’m going to kill the idiot who put this picture up! Don’t they know I look way better in the second movie?!?’

Joshua Herdman: Azkaban? We’re going to be in Azkaban?!? What’s Azkaban?
Tom Felton: The third movie, Josh! Honestly if you were any slower you’d be going backwards..

Draco: So, it’s the f-f-f-famous Harry P-P-Potter!
Voldemort: Quirrel, you idiot! Don’t stutter when you’re using the Polyjuice Potion!

‘This is Crabbe! He can walk sideways, you know! Show them, Crabbe! *whispers* It’s quite an achievement for him!’

Goyle: This is the song that never ends! –
Draco: Shut up, Goyle!
Goyle: Yes, it goes on and on, my friends!
Draco: I’m warning you!
Goyle: So people, started singing — *punched in the face* oof… *falls down*
Crabbe: This is the song that never ends!

‘So how about it, Potter? Weasley? All boy bands nowadays do have five members!

Malfoy: Psst, Weasley, Potter! Victoria Secret Fashion Show, Saturday night, 8:30, Hufflepuff Common Room!
Harry and Ron: We’ll be there!

‘Hey, that’s not fair! Nearly-Headless Nick got a transparent speech bubble! I want one too!

‘So it’s true then! Anakin Skywalker has come to Hogwarts. This is Merry and Pippin. And I’m Bond, James Bond.’

‘No, Potter, I will not tell you where to get your own thugs or lend you mine!





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Eric S.

Eric Scull joined MuggleNet in November of 2002. Since that time, he’s presided over a number of sections, including name origins and Dear Hogwarts, but none so long as the recently revived Crazy Caption Contest. Eric is a Hufflepuff who lives in Chicago and loves the outdoors.