CC #056: Week of November 9, 2003

⬇️⬇️ Scroll down in the below area to read all captions from this week! ⬇️⬇️

Ron: Why did they have to put the third trailer in the Looney Tunes movie?!
Bugs: Duck Season!
Daffy: Rabbit Season!
Bugs: Duck Season!
Daffy: Rabbit Season!
Bugs: Wabbit Season!
Daffy: It’s Duck Season and that’s final!
Bugs: If you say so…
*A series of gunshots are heard*
Harry: I swear that rabbit’s too smart for his own good.
Ron: …Is it too late to quit?
Harry: You’ve already signed up for Goblet of Fire…
Ron: Right… well, at least it’s only 1 minute and 26 seconds…

*At the drive-in showing of Jurassic Park*
Dan: Will you look at them in that car in the tree? That must be so frightening!
Rupert: Thank God we don’t have to do anything like that!
Chris in the Back Seat: *Cough* Contract… *Cough*

Ron: *Mutters without moving lips* Harry, if we keep this face… the Muggles might not notice that you don’t have green eyes or black hair…

Ron: ‘Harry, look! It’s all the Captions that didn’t make it and they want revenge!

Ron: Maybe if we be quiet, that mysterious Freddy Krueger person behind us won’t try and kill us…
Harry: Ron, it’s only Fang…
Fang: *In a rich English accent* Yes, it’s only me… Fang the Dog…

Harry: Ron, we’re going to have to drive through that wall of spiders…
Ron: Oh… Okay…
Harry: Have you got everything? Courage, nerves, clean underwear? *Sniffs* Er… What’s that smell?
Ron: *Looks at Harry meaningfully*
Harry: Oh… er… well… two out of three ain’t bad!
Ron: *Blushes*

Harry: Is that…?
Ron: Can’t be…
Harry: It is!
Ron: You mean that’s really Professor Snape performing a one-man show of The Nutcracker in a pink tutu?
Harry: Yup… *Takes picture* Guess who’s getting all A’s for the rest of this year?!

Ron: Psst, Harry?
Harry: …Yes?
Ron: What does the yellow light mean?
Harry: Slow down!
Ron: What-does-the-yellow-light-mean?
Harry: Slow down!
Ron: Whaat – doeees – ttthhee – yelllowww – liiiight – meeeaan?!

*In Driver’s Ed Class*
Fang: *Howling*
Ron: I don’t think I’m doing too well, Harry…
Harry: Don’t worry, Ron, you’re doing fine! *BOOM* But it is hard to believe there are so many speed bumps!
Ron: Ooh um… those aren’t speed bumps; they’re pedestrians
*Cricket, Cricket
-Kristin S.

Ron: Two Sickles per liter! That’s the scariest thing I’ve ever seen!

Ron and Harry: Aaah! There’s a dementor behind us!
Fang: Hey! I’m not a dementor!
Harry: Oh… Sorry…
Ron: Evil talking dog!
Both: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!

Ron: Oh my gosh! It’s that Samara girl! Harry! I knew we shouldn’t have watched that movie!
Harry: Man, if Fang dies and I live, Hagrid will send Grawp on me!
Samara: I told you I was coming in seven days! Why doesn’t anyone believe me?!
-The Bowmans

Narrator: The two boys learned fast the bad things of being famous…
Girls’ Voices in Background: I touched him! I touched him!

Ron: Harry, you aren’t by chance chewing a sardine flavoured Bertie Bott’s, are you?
Harry: No, Ron, are you?

Ron: Well, now that we’re trapped in here from the mutant spiders, how about a game of Spin the Bottle?
Harry: Alright, I’ll make one right now (God I love being a wizard!) *Chants spell* Your idea; you go first!
Ron: Okay – *Spins, bottle lands pointing towards camera*
Chris Columbus: Pucker up, Rupert!

Harry: Ron, we’ve been driving this car for a year! Don’t you think we should stop and ask someone for directions?!
Ron: No, no, I’m sure we’re nearly at Hogwarts. Look! I think I can see the castle! And there’s Snape!
Harry: I think he was waiting for us… he looks mad!
Snape: I’ve been waiting for a year and wanna see some payback!
Both: Aaaah!

Harry: Ron, do you ever get the feeling that there’s an oversized black dog in the back seat just waiting to lick your ears?
Ron: Yes…

Harry: *Humming theme to The Flintstones*
Ron: Weasleys,
Harry: Meet the Weasleys;
Ron: They’re the greatest guys in his-tor-y!
Harry: Oh yeah!
Ron: Weasleys,
Harry: Meet the Weasleys;
Ron: We’re about to hit a chestnut tree!
Both: Aaaarrrggghhhh!

After Peter Jackson is hired to direct the fifth movie, Harry and Ron find themselves being hunted down by orcs.

Ron: Harry? What’s that noise in the back seat?
Harry: *Turns around and pulls the blanket off*
Dobby: Dobby warned Harry Potter, sir, not to come to Hogwarts. Dobby must punish Harry Potter. Dobby is going to put naked pictures of Harry Potter all over Hogwarts…
Harry: Aaah! Dobby has naked pictures of me!
Ron: Aaah! I just got a picture of that in my head!

Harry: Ron, it isn’t a big deal! It’s just a couple of loops, a corkscrew, a… *Looks at Ron* I’m not helping much, am I…
Ron: …

Harry: I’m glad that’s over…
Ron: Yeah, nothing can scare us now!
Eric: *Jumps in front of the car with a scary mask on* Aaarrgogogoh!!!
Harry and Ron: Aaaaaah!
Eric: *Takes their picture and runs away like a maniac* Mwahahaa!
Harry: Well… that was weird…
Ron: Yeah, why’d Eric need the mask to scare us?

*Harry, Ron, and Fang sit terrified while watching Love Actually*
Ron: Why are Snape and Trelawney Married?

Ron: *Sputtering* Spider, spider!
Harry: Ron, that’s not a spider; Hermione just forgot to shave her legs…

Harry: Aaah!
Ron: Oh my God!
Hermione: Oh, come on, guys, do I really look that bad in a bikini?!

Harry: Mock!
Ron: Yeah!
Harry: Ing!
Ron: Yeah!
Harry: Bird!
Ron: Yeah!
Harry: Yeah!
Ron: Yeah!

*Harry and Ron at a Drive-In Movie Theatre*
Harry: It’s horrible!
Ron: It’s worse than spiders!
Both: It’s Percy starring in a musical!

Harry: Aaah! Help! Somebody’s stabbed me with my own wand!
Ron: Can we panic now?

Harry: This is what happens in Book Seven?!
Ron: *Speechless*Harry: *Reads* Harry drops out of Hogwarts to become the Red Ranger in the 27th season of Power Rangers: ‘Wizard League’.

Harry: Ron, I told you not to eat all of Hermione’s chocolate frogs when she’s got PMS!

Harry: Aaah! Look what’s out there!
Ron: It’s just a tree branch
Harry: No, it’s a microphone. Duh!
Ron: No, it’s a tree branch.
Harry: No, it’s a microphone!
Ron: No, it’s a tree branch!
Harry: No, it’s a microphone!
Ron: Tree Branch!
Harry: Microphone!
*Four Hours Later*
Harry: So, it’s agreed then?
Ron: Yes… we’ll go ask Alfonso.
Alfonso: *Runs*

Ron: Harry! I can’t see! All these paparazzi are trying to take pictures of you!
Harry: Oh no! Watch out for that tree!
*They almost hit a tree when George Weasley swings down and saves them*
Ron: What the?!

Harry: Uh, Ron?
Ron: Yeah…?
Harry: *In a sudden voice* A big giant spider is about to bite off your head!
Ron: Aaah! Where?
Harry: Gotcha!

*A car drives past them, but then slows down to talk*
Uncle Vernon: *Leaning out the window* People like you aren’t allowed to own and drive cars! No wonder we have traffic, car accidents, high gas prices…
Aunt Petunia: *Looking worried* Now, Vernon, darling, remember what the doctor said about your high blood pressure…
Ron: How did the Dursleys manage to get lost in the Forbidden Forest?
Harry: My uncle never asks directions; but he’s topped himself this time!

Ron: Oh no! Hedwig’s about to –
Harry: Poop!

M&Ms: They do exist!
Harry&Ron: They do exist!
*Yellow M&M faints*

Ron: Harry, is that a wand in your jacket or…
Harry: No!
Ron: …Just wondering…
-Eric [Staff]

Harry: Hagrid!
Ron: Aaah!
Hagrid: What is it? You know’ut they say…
Harry: No, Hagrid… what do they say?
Hagrid: ‘The camera adds six legs’!
-Eric [Staff]

*Several hundred spiders surround the car*
Aragog: Deliver thine enemy, Mister Potter…
Harry: Err… ‘Enemy’?
Aragog: Yes… the Enemy
Ron: Harry, I… I think it’s time…
Harry: Alright… *gets out and opens the trunk*
Cingular Guy: *On the phone* Good! *Backflips out* Hello, everybody!
Spiders: Hello, Cingular Guy…. *they immediately attack him*
Cingular Guy: Aaarggghh! *In-between Aragog’s jaws* Can you hear me now? Goooood!
Spiders: … …
Aragog: … …
Harry and Ron: … …
A muffled voice from Aragog’s stomach: Gooood!
-Eric [Staff]

Snape: *Cackling madly in the clearing*
My baking and brewing I will do today,The queen’s son to-morrow I will take away,No wise man can show the queen where to begin,For my name, to be sure, is Rumplestiltskin!
-Eric [Staff]

‘Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads…’
-Inspired by Paul of Nov. 16, 2002.

Harry: Aragog?
Aragog: What? Hey! I got the scene right this time around, Potter!
-Inspired by Sarah of Nov. 16, 2002

‘Ron, watch out – Deer!’
-Inspired by Duke of Nov. 16, 2002

Harry: Ron, hit the brakes!
Ron: What brakes?!
-Inspired by Norsheha of Nov. 16, 2002

Ron: Can we panic now?!
Harry: Not yet! They haven’t added the CGI spiders yet!
Ron: Can we panic now?
Harry: No! They’re too busy drawing a moustache on Petrified Hermione right now to do this scene!
Ron: Now can we panic?
Harry: No! The spiders haven’t been properly rendered yet!
Ron: Now?!
Harry: *Grabs Ron, throws him out the window and drives off*
Ron: Aaah!
Harry: Yes, Ron, you can panic now!
-Eric [Staff]





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Eric S.

Eric Scull joined MuggleNet in November of 2002. Since that time, he’s presided over a number of sections, including name origins and Dear Hogwarts, but none so long as the recently revived Crazy Caption Contest. Eric is a Hufflepuff who lives in Chicago and loves the outdoors.