CC #204: Week of February 11, 2007


⬇️⬇️ Scroll down in the below area to read all captions from this week! ⬇️⬇️


Ron: Are you just a head?
Nick: No, but right now I am separated from my body. I stuck it in a turkey to soften it up. *Looks in turkey* Where’d it go?
Ron: Harry, didn’t you just have some turkey?
Harry: *Gags*
NicK: I hope you know that ghost bodies are poisonous.
Harry: *Falls off chair*
-Homad


Nick: See, I can go through the table! Isn’t it amazing?
Hermione: Yeah… Say, Sir Nicholas, could you go under the table and see who’s poking me?
Ron: *Readjusts himself*
Hermione: Never mind, they stopped…
-Sam


Voldemort: *Appears in middle of Great Hall* I will kill Harry Potter!
Sir Nicholas: *Stands in front of Harry* Now wait one minute! if you want to kill Harry, you’ll have to go through me first!
Voldemort: *Walks through Nick*
Sir Nicholas: …oh…
-Alyssa


‘No, I am not Nearly Headless Nick! I am his half-brother, Nearly Bodiless Bernard!’
-Megan


Ron: I can feel the fat blocking my veins already…
NicK: Oh, boo hoo! *With girlish voice* ‘I’m Ron! Poor me, I can eat food and get fat like a normal person! I’m going to complain about it all day! Please, feel sorry for meeee!’
Ron: … I… I’m…
Harry: Like you didn’t see that coming…
-Nora


George: So… why are you in the chicken?
Sir Nicholas: Well, it all started when this one student asked me to find out which came first – the chicken… or the EGG?!
-C_Bizalicious


Ron: Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?
Nick: Yes…
Ron: Okay, everyone, it’s safe. This one’s NOT an Inferius!
-WeaselChick


Sir Nick: MMMM! Steaming weenies! I love ’em!
Harry: *Shocked* Mother pus Bucket!
Percy: *Annoyed* Back off, man… I’m a Prefect…
George: Sir Nearly Headless Nick… good evening. As a duly designated representative of the House of Gryffindor, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return fortwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension.
Ron: That ought to do it, thanks very much, George…
-RJ


Percy: Hello, Sir Nicholas.
Sir Nicholas: Well hello, Percy!
Ron: DUDE! I was going to eat that! Hey, wait, you’re Nearly-Headless Nick!
Hermione: Nearly Headless? Now can you be Nearly Headless?!
Sir Nicholas: Well, give me a knife and I’ll show you…
Hermione: Nevermind!
-Andie


Nick: ‘Whaddaya mean you like eating something more substantial?!’
-Toffee


Nick: Come on in, the table’s great!
Ron: Uh… we’re not dead.
Nick: Excuses, excuses…
-Sam


Nick: ‘Wow, look! I popped up in just the right place! All the lead characters sitting together, how terribly convenient!’
-Drew


Nearly-Headless Nick: *Angrily* ‘I prefer the term ”imprint of a departed soul,” you twit! Were you born in a bin?!’
-Eapraven


NicK: Fred, you lose! Ron, Harry, you’re the only two left; keep that juice in your mouths!
-roXtar


Nick: And so, young Gryffindors, if you have any questions – any questions at all – just come to me!
Harry: Yeah, I was just wondering… why do some people become ghosts–
Nick: GOTTA GO! *Disappears*
-Alan


Harry: OMG, a talking head.
Sir Nick: No, it’s quite all right – I’m a friendly ghost!
Ron: *Looks up from the chicken* HOLY SMOKES! A TALKING HEAD!
Sir Nick: They don’t learn, do they?
-Elisabeth


Percy: I call the eyes!
Everyone: *Stares*
Percy: What?
-Meghanalo


Ron: Nearly headless? How can you be nearly headless?
Nick: Never cheat on a demented astronaut woman.
-Flobberworm


George: Nick! Why don’t you take a bite? *Laughs*
NicK: …Just for that, I’m going to steal all of your cone hats, so you can’t wear them in any of the later movies.
Ron: Right… Like that’s going to happen!
-Nora


Ron: Who are you?
Nick: I’m the Ghost of You-and-Your-New-Friend-Harry-Don’t-Have-Your-Hats-and-You’re-Making-the-Entire-Gryffindor-House-Look-Like-a-Bunch-of-Idiots.
Ron: Wow. Hey, Harry, we have our own ghost!
-Sam


We are now translating the British words in the Harry Potter movies to American gangster slang:
Harry: Yo, homedog!
Ron: What, homeboy!
Harry: Who the hizzle is this and what is he doing getting up into our grill?
Ron: That’s Sir Nicholas, our Ghost Homedog.
Sir Nicholas: What’s up my Gryffindor homies?
The End.
-Marissa#22


Harry: I thought we were having headless duck, NOT headless-nick?!
Nicholas: That’s ‘nearly’ to you!
-Landis


Nick: You have set me free from my drumstick. Now I will grant you three wishes!
Ron: Hmmmm, I dunnno. How about a cauldron of felix felicis, a billion galleons and you getting out of my dinner!
-Maggie


Nick: ‘What were you expecting — a head of lettuce?!’
-Josh


Fred: Hey, I know you! You’re an extra decapitated head from Sleepy Hollow!
Sir Nicholas: No I’m not! And if I were, what would I be doing on this table?!
Fred: *Laughing* I don’t know!
Harry: *Slightly disturbed*
-BloodRedSky


Harry: Is that Chicken Parmesian?
Ron: No… Chicken Porpington.
-Emiline


Percy: ‘What a pretty table arrangement!’
-Banned


American audiences of Harry Potter books and movies continued to become estranged by unfamiliarity with British Foods as ‘Hollowed Head with Horseradish’ was added to the list. Said one 16-year-old teen in the US: ”First Treacle Tarts and now this!?”
-Sean


Dumbledore: ‘And our next course is comprised of Completely Headless Nick. Though there’s not much taste, it does wonders for the digestive system, guaranteed to pass right through you!’
-Toffee


Ron: Umm… Sir Nicholas? You have something hanging from your nose, Sir…
Nicholas: Darn! I should have looked into the mirror before I was executed…
-Nicole M.


Fred: ‘Oy, Ron, be a dear and pass the John Cleee, would you?’
-Cydney


Harry: Ron, this fork is dirty!
Ron: Waiter!
*A 20-ton weight falls on George and/or Fred*
John Cleese: *Appearing in the middle of the table* And now for something completely different!
-Sandra


Ron: Look, it’s John Cleese!
Sir Nicholas: I prefer Sir Nicholas De Mimsy Porpington, if you don’t mind.
Ron: Why?
Sir Nicholas: Because, if I go by John Cleese then I will be associated with Monty Python and all of the recent captions involving them. By the way, are you a Weasley?
Ron: I wasn’t expecting the Spanish Inquisition…
Sir Nicholas: *In a high-pitched voice with a Spanish accent* No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
-Sidney


Nick: I, Sir Nicholas De Mimsy Porpington, have a grave announcement to make. I can now say ‘I am dead’ in three different languages –
I am dead.
Je suis mort.
Soy muerto.
*People at table clap*
-Kaity V.


Whilst Ron dominated the dinnertime conversation, Sir Nicholas made sure he was at the head of the table.
-Anna


Nick: Yes, I AM quite aware that my body is missing, but don’t worry. The exploding pudding has been robbed of most of its explosives this year!
Percy: Well, actually…
-Marisa


Taking ‘something for everyone’ to a whole new level.
-Axyl


Nearly-Headless Nick: Welcome to Gryffindor!
Percy: This is Nearly-Headless Nick, and we are the Nearly Brimless Students!
Ron: So what does that make us?
Percy: Totally Clueless First Years!
-Erin


Ron: *Thinking* Great! Now there’s going to be ghost ooze on the ho ho’s!
-Miss.Syd

 

 

 

 


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Eric S.

Eric Scull joined MuggleNet in November of 2002. Since that time he’s presided over a number of sections including name origins and Dear Hogwarts, but none so long as the Crazy Caption Contest, which is recently revived. Eric is a hufflepuff who lives in Chicago and loves the outdoors.