CC #216: Week of May 1, 2007

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It was then that Harry discovered that, because of the violent upheaval his life had experienced after Voldemort returned, his Patronus had changed into David Bowie.

Jareth: You remind me of the babe.
Harry: What babe?
Jareth: The babe with the power.
Harry: What power?
Jareth: The power to stop You-Know-Who. What did you think I was gonna say? You are the Chosen One, after all…

Jareth: You have thirteen hours in which to solve the Labyrinth before your cousin becomes one of us forever…
Harry: WAIT!
Jareth: What?
Harry: …You can keep him. He’ll look better as a goblin anyway.

Goblin King: ‘Ello.
Harry: Did you just say hello?
Goblin King: No, I said ‘ello, but that’s close enough.
Harry: Isn’t a worm supposed to say that line?
Goblin King: Well, aren’t you supposed to be Jennifer Connelly?

Harry: You’re not a sphynx, are you?
David Bowie: …
Harry: What?
David Bowie: …
Harry: Oh! Charades! Hmm… let’s see. Keith Richards! No… Jo Bon Jovi! No… Hmm… are you from KISS?
David Bowie: …
Harry: Queen?
David Bowie: …
Harry: Oh, I know! You’re David Bowie!
David Bowie: You may pass.
Harry: Hang on… two questions: 1) I know this is a labyrinth, but it isn’t your labyrinth. What are you doing here? And 2) You’re not a magical creature, are you? I don’t remember Hagrid breeding you…

Harry: …Through dangers untold and hardships un-numbered, I have fought my way here to the Quidditch pitch, to take back the cup that you have stolen!
Goblin King: -When I told Dumbledore he could use my labyrinth for Task Three, I didn’t realize that I was gonna come up against more teen angst!

Harry: Who did your hair? An electric beater?
David Bowie: Who did yours? Budget Cuts?
-HP Fan

Why Professor Binns’ Homework and a Night of the Labyrinth Don’t Mix…
Minister of Magic: *Off-stage* You’re being treated completely fairly.
Goblin King: You keep saying that, I wonder what your basis for comparison is.

Harry: You? What are you doing here?
Jareth: You have thirteen hours in which to solve the labyrinth, before Hermione and Ron become one of us… forever.
Harry: Oh, that’s simple. Wrong movie.
Jareth: Sure you want to take that chance?

Harry: I don’t know how I’m supposed to defeat Voldemort, and Dumbledore can’t help me anymore. what should I do?
David Bowie: Use the fame, Harry!
And so it came to pass, that Voldemort was trampled by a thousand fangirls.

David Bowie: *Singing* Is there life on Maaaars?
Harry: *Runs past* You’ll want the Department of magical Transport, Level Six.
David Bowie: Ah, thanks mate!
Harry: No problem. *Continues running*

Harry: ‘I don’t have to ask… that guy is definitely an imprint of a departed soul!’
-Harry’s Wand

David Bowie: I am the dreaded Goblin King! None of your puny magic can harm me! you will tremble before my…
Harry: *Sigh* You have no power over me.
David Bowie: Son of a – *vanishes*
-Dan C.

Harry: Could you fetch my wand, please?
Bowie: What you like is in the limo.
Harry: Well, I’m in a bit of a hurry –
Bowie: What you get is no tomorrow.
Harry: But it’s my wand –
Bowie: What you need you have to borrow.
Harry: *Sigh* This guy’s no help…

Harry: ‘Since you’re the Goblin King, aren’t you supposed to be working at Gringotts?’

HarrY: I hate Maniacal May because of all the ch-ch-ch-changes!
David Bowie: Well, wam bam thank you, ma’am!

Bowie: *Singing* They’re quite aware what they’re going through… Ch-ch-ch-changes!
Harry: Er, actually, I have no idea… What’s with Cho? Why does she keep sobbing all over me? How can the Ministry be so thick? Why do I keep dreaming about a locked door? Why can I feel what Voldemort’s feeling? Why won’t Dumbledore look at me and, AND… WTF, mate?!

Jareth: Hello, Hedgewart.
Harry: Hogwart.
Hoggle: *Off-screen* Hog-gle!!!

Ziggy: I am Professor Stardust, your new Defense against the Dark Arts teacher. Yes, you are in the right class, Potter. Well, come in. Don’t just stand there. Hellooo? Ground Control to Major Potter?

Harry: …This is going to be harder than I thought.
-Hermy G.

In the movie, Dumbledore asks Jareth the Goblin King to tell Harry everything.

Jareth: You remind me of the baby.
Harry: What baby?
Jareth: The baby with the power.
Harry: What power?
Jareth: The power to vanquish.
Harry: Who to?
Jareth: Voldemort.
Harry: With what?
Jareth: The power He Knows Not!

There was a baby, born as the seventh month died.
What happen then?
His parents defied Voldemort.
And had time to make babies too.
Nobody knew!

What kind of magic Voldy used.
Cruciatus curse?
or Imperius?
Avada Kedavra.
But baby had:

Mum’s magic, mum. (Mum’s magic, mum)
Mum’s magic, mum. (Mum’s magic, mum)
Put Mommy’s magic on him.
Love magic, love. (love magic, love)
Love magic, love. (love magic, love)
Blocked the AK put on him.
Killed old Voldy and made us free!

There was a baby, with the power that He Knows Not.
What could He do?
He tried to kill baby.
And left the Death Eaters blue.
Nobody knew where he went to!






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Eric S.

Eric Scull joined MuggleNet in November of 2002. Since that time, he’s presided over a number of sections, including name origins and Dear Hogwarts, but none so long as the recently revived Crazy Caption Contest. Eric is a Hufflepuff who lives in Chicago and loves the outdoors.