CC #268: Week of June 1, 2008

⬇️⬇️ Scroll down in the below area to read all captions from this week! ⬇️⬇️

Umbridge: Malfoy, I saw your videos on YouTube…
Malfoy: Yeah…
Umbridge: 1,200 points to Slytherin!
Malfoy: Woot!
Umbridge: Chatspeak? 1,200 points from Slytherin!
Malfoy: Aw, ferrets!

Umbridge: This must be a very proud day for you, Mr. Malfoy.
Malfoy: Yes, Professor, it is.
Umbridge: And your father will be so proud… the Minister is going to tell him personally.
Malfoy: *Laughs* Not if I get there first!
Umbridge: *Laughs* If you get the time, Mr. Malfoy! You’re going to have a lot of authority around here from now on!
Malfoy: Yes, you know, at times I doubted myself, but I always knew one day I’d win Witch Weekly’s Blonde Bombshell of the Year Award…
Umbridge: Actually, you’re being inducted into the Inquisitorial Squad.
Malfoy: *Throws the badge to the ground and storms out in a fit of rage*

Umbridge: *To all the Slytherins* ‘Haven’t your mothers taught you how to sew?’

Draco: ‘Oh, Dolores! Stop that! It tickles!’

The Smug Club. Forerunner of the Slug Club.

Umbridge: ‘And for Harry Contemplating Whether to Use a Red Quill with Black Ink or a Black Quill with Red Ink, I hereby give you the golden ribbon for most dull and pointless ”leaked” Half-Blood Prince image.’

Umbridge: ‘Welcome to the Hogwarts Inquisitorial Team for the Mean and Evil, otherwise known as H.I.T. M.E.’

Umbridge: *Thinking to herself* Wow, I’m short.
Draco: *Thinking to himself* Wow, she’s short.
Goyle: *Thinking to himself* Wow, Umbridge is short.
Crabbe: *Thinking to himself* Wow, Millicent looks hot. The only way she could be more attractive is if she were carrying a tray of buns… Mmm… buns… *gargle*

Umbridge: Now that you have your badge you can properly fulfill your duty.
Draco: Ha! You said duty!

Draco: On my honor I will do my best, to do my duty to Professor Umbridge and my school, and to obey the educational decrees; to help other people get detention at all times; to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake, and morally crooked.
Umbridge: Good boy.

The Slytherins knew that practicing Medal of Honor in the common room would pay off someday.

Umbridge: *Muttering to self* Why do they always give me the dullest pins and thickest cloaks? Maybe one hard shove –
At the other end of the castle, Harry smiles as he hears the result of his Dull Pin Jinx.
-My Name Jose

Umbridge is so short, the jokes in all of the captions go over her head.
Malfoy: *Repressing laughter*

Umbridge: For future services to the furtherment of Dark Arts, I award you our highest honor for the Dark Arts, The Order that Must Not Be Named!






Return to Caption Contest Home

Eric S.

Eric Scull joined MuggleNet in November of 2002. Since that time, he’s presided over a number of sections, including name origins and Dear Hogwarts, but none so long as the recently revived Crazy Caption Contest. Eric is a Hufflepuff who lives in Chicago and loves the outdoors.