CC #309: Week of November 1, 2009

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‘Hey, what are they playing at? I send them birds and they send me a half-eaten lunch?!’

Malfoy: O, Great Apple of Vision, tell me the future!
Apple: You will name your son Scorpius.
Malfoy: C’mon, be serious.

Draco: ‘I know I need to discover the power of the vanishing cabinets connection, but I am just too distracted by what appears to be a Christmas Tree made out of classroom chairs…’

Finally, with the use of an Ultraball, Malfoy was able to catch the elusive Charizard.

Malfoy: An apple. The classic villain fruit. It’s quite tasty, too…
Harry: *Off-screen* You do know their generally poisoned, right?
Malfoy: *Collapses*
-Olivia S.

Draco: I better break this and blame it on Potter.
Harry: I heard that!

Draco: ‘When Harry breaks the tender peel, to taste the apple in my hand, his breath will still, his blood congeal, then I’ll be fairest in the land!’

Draco: ‘Finally, I have found it! A cabinet that eats apples!’

Harry: *Off-screen* Your mother’s so blonde she married your father.
Draco: Harry, that doesn’t make any sense.
Harry: Your mother doesn’t make any sense.

Apple: Draco, you are not an assasin.
Draco: It’s ‘killer’, not assasin. Haven’t you read the book?
Apple: You are afraid.
Draco: No, it’s you who should be afraid. I’m the one with the teeth. I’m the one who’s going to eat you.
Apple: I do not think you will eat me. Eating is not so easy as the innocent believe.
Draco: I have to do this! I’m hungry!
Snape: *Enters* if you’re not going to eat that, I will. *Snatches the apple*

Draco: ‘Did I really pay 20 Galleons for the apple from the Twilight book cover? This thing is useless.’

Draco: Magic 8-Ball, does this black suit make me look sexy? *Shakes*
Magic 8-Ball: Yes, definitely.
Draco: Why, thank you. And, might I add, you look sexy as well.
-Allister N.

Tom Felton in ‘The Men Who Stare at Apples.

Draco: ‘Why does my apple have a countdown on it?’

*Meanwhile, back at Borgin & Burkes*
Borgin: ‘What the heck’s this piece of apple doing in my cabinet?’

Draco: ‘Wow… Borgin sure has horrible teeth!’

Draco: *To apple* ‘You, my amicable minute morsel, are an exceptionally exquisite specimen of fruit hailing from the Malus domestica. Your texture, your taste, your sweet fragrance; all superior qualities. And your color! Fine and delicate enough to make even a rose appear overdone and gaudy. You are, truly, destined to go places, my little friend. *Nods, and then takes a big bite.* Like my stomach.’

Malfoy: ‘Half a worm?’





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Eric S.

Eric Scull joined MuggleNet in November of 2002. Since that time, he’s presided over a number of sections, including name origins and Dear Hogwarts, but none so long as the recently revived Crazy Caption Contest. Eric is a Hufflepuff who lives in Chicago and loves the outdoors.