CC #326: Week of March 7, 2010
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Clooney: You down for Ocean’s 14?
Danny Ocean: Ten oughta do it, don’t you think?
Dumbledore: *Stares off in silence, not looking at Danny*
Danny Ocean: You think we need one more?
Danny Ocean: You think we need one more.
Danny Ocean: All right, we’ll get one more.
Albus: I am sorry, Tom, but I cannot allow you to teach at my school. Why do you want to teach at Hogwarts, might I ask?
‘Tom’: I am not called Tom any more. I am known as –
Albus: I know what you are called, but I shall not refer to you as this. You will always be Tom to me. Now, why have you come here?
‘Tom’: I am leaving now, Dumbledore. It is clear that you are not in need of my services, but you will regret your decision, mark my words.
Dumbledore: Congratulations on your nomination, George! I loved Fantastic Mr. Fox.
Clooney: Um, that’s not the film I’m nominated for.
Dumbledore: I’m sorry. Congratulations for The Men Who Stare at Goats. Aberforth loved that one.
Clooney: I give up.
George Clooney: I’m here to apply for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position.
Dumbledore: *Mumbling* Yeah, you and everyone else in Hollywood…
Dumbledore: No, George, I’m very sorry, but you’re too old to come to Hogwarts.
George Clooney: Aww, please!
Hermione, Ginny and McGonagall: Yes, please?!
Dumbledore: DREAMBOAT ALERT! *Siren noises*
Dumbledore doesn’t see socks in the Mirror of Erised; he actaully sees George Clooney… wearing nothing but socks.
George Clooney: Dumbledore, I’m sorry. J.K. Rowling has decided to write you out of the series at the end of the sixth book. I hate to say it, but you’re fired.
Dumbledore: But… where am I supposed to go? What am I supposed to do?
George: She said something about being at the top of the Astronomy tower on this date. Not much else.
Dumbledore: *Thinking* I love this mirror. It’s so accurate.
Dumbledore: No, Mr. Clooney, you can’t work at Hogwarts.
George Clooney: Is it because I’m a Muggle?
Dumbledore: No. It’s because you threw me in a pool last year. I still hold a grudge.
Richard Harris: I can’t believe I’m back!
George Clooney: In March, ANYTHING is possible!
George: C’mon, man! You’e got a Moony and a Looney, why not a Clooney?
Dumbledore: Too Disney…
George Clooney: Excuse me, Headmaster, but I believe your hat sorted me wrong. It placed me in Hufflepuff…. I’m way sexier than that…
Clooney: OK, Dumbledore. Since you’re such a powerful wizard, try this on for size. If it takes two women two hours to dig two holes, how long does it take one woman to dig half a hole?
Dumbledore: Well, George, that is quite simple. It would take her one half hour.
Clooney: Some great sorcerer – when’s the last time you saw half a hole?
Dumbledore: ‘Accio George! …Oh, dear, I meant George Weasley. Forget it, Clooney.’
Dumbledore: ‘Robe, or GTFO.’
Dumbledore: ‘I’m sorry, sir, but your Hogwarts letter was not misplaced.’
Albus Dumbledore: I see we’ve both been nominated for the Oddest Names Contest.
George Clooney: Yeah. May the best man win. *Under his breath* I’m gonna crush you, old, weird guy…
-Dobby and Melane
Dumbledore: OMG! It’s People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive, 1997 AND 2006! I can’t believe it’s really you!!!
George Clooney: I have to stop doing these Meet-and-Greets…
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