MuggleNet Alohomora! finishes reading ‘Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets’

Since last April, the staff of have been working diligently on Alohomora!, the podcast and section of MuggleNet that is solely dedicated to rereading the Harry Potter series from start to finish and devising new theories as we go.

If you haven’t been following the show recently, here’s a summary of what’s currently going on in the books written by our very own Rosie Morris:

Entering the Chamber on his own, Harry discovers Ginny’s seemingly lifeless body and the mysterious Tom Riddle by her side. The threat of the Basilisk lingers as Harry tries to wake the girl but Riddle lives up to his name and decides to monologue instead. The events of the entire book are recapped from a new perspective and a slightly convenient anagram is solved. Tom Marvolo Riddle is Devil Mort Malodor… or something like that.

Ickle Voldykins summons his Basilisk and our twelve year old hero must figure out how to fight a giant snake with only a tiny stick and a very limited magical vocabulary. (Expelliarmus won’t help here… though Wingardium Leviosa could’ve at least kept it out of the way.)

Luckily in a stunning case of deus ex machina, Fawkes the Phoenix was spying on Harry and thought he spoke like a true hero. And what do true heroes need? Magic hats of course! Luckily this one comes with a hidden sword. The basilisk gets a bit more than a headache and the epically rare phoenix tears seem rather plentiful as Harry returns to health.

Harry destroys a Horcrux (Oops, spoilers!) and we can all breathe a sigh of relief and learn that we should never, ever give an empty note book to a young girl.

Back in Dumbledore’s office, the Weasleys rejoice at the sight of all three of their family members safe and sound. The headmaster once more gives the impression that he knew exactly what was going on all along but just didn’t want to step in and save anyone, and Luscious Locks Malfoy turns up to rant in an overly dramatic fashion. Dobby turns out to be Malfoy’s house elf and is overjoyed to receive a hastily wrapped book because the smell of Harry’s sweaty feet means DOBBY IS FREE!

The next episode of Alohomora! exploring these chapters will be released this weekend! Make sure to head to our forums for discussion of both the book and the show.