CC #338: Week of April 14, 2013

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It was only when Xenophilius began to eat his hair that Harry realized he had made a terrible mistake.

Xenophilius: ‘If you touch my daughter ever again, I’ll infest your house with nargles… European nargles!

Xenophilius: *Whispers* I’m not wearing any underwear.

‘Diggin’ your new strawberry shampoo, Harry!’


Xenophilius: Psst! Psstt! Psstt!
Harry: Mr. Lovegood, is there something you have to tell me?
Xenophilius: Psst! Psstt! Psstt!
Harry: Mr. Lovegood? Do you need to tell me something?
Xenophilius: Psst! Psstt! Psstt!
Harry: Mr. Lovegood?! *Turns to Luna* Do you know what he’s doing?
Xenophilius: Psst! Psstt! Psstt!
Luna: That? Oh, Daddy just likes secrets.
Xenophilius: Psst..!

Harry: ‘Mr. Lovegood, my hair doesn’t speak – no matter how long you whisper to it.’

Xenophilius: If you ever breathe a word of what you saw here today, you will be sleeping with the grindylows. Do you understand me, Potter?
Luna: Yeah! Do you understand him, Potter?

Luna: ‘Oh, sorry, I’ll leave you two to it.’

Xenophilius: *Whispers* ‘What would you do… if you were attacked by unicorns?’

Luna: ‘Dad, can you just wait a minute? Harry and I are having a staring contest.’

Xenophilius: ‘There seems to be a slight misunderstanding between myself and the readers of The Quibbler. Somehow, they refuse to believe what I say about you after I got a little philosophical with them; I told them about the Crumple-Horned Snorcack.’

Xenophilius: You’re telling me Muggle pictures don’t move?
Harry: Yes.
Luna: But the Muggles make the pictures speak?
Harry: You write a magazine about Crumple-Horned Snorcacks, but you’re surprised about the MuggleNet Caption Contest?
-Sean B.

Xenophilius: ‘Mmm, Harry, you smell divine… eau de la acromantula?

Mr. Lovegood: Now, this is my secret recipe for Derigible Plum pudding. If you say anything, I’ll be writing about you in The Quibbler.
Harry: I won’t say a word; I promise.

Xenophilius: ‘Don’t move, Potter. I’ve found some Nargles between your legs.’





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Eric S.

Eric Scull joined MuggleNet in November of 2002. Since that time, he’s presided over a number of sections, including name origins and Dear Hogwarts, but none so long as the recently revived Crazy Caption Contest. Eric is a Hufflepuff who lives in Chicago and loves the outdoors.