CC #359: Week of September 8, 2013
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‘Is this the guy that can teach us how to succeed in business without really trying?’
‘You’re right! One more face lift and he will look like Joan Rivers.’
Snatcher: How can we find out if this is really Harry Potter?
Scabior: Simple. We use the patented Scabior Method. Observe. *Picks up a flower and starts pulling petals off.* He is. He is not. He is. He is not. He is. He is not. He is, he is not. He IS! Aha! Looks like you’re in trouble, boy!
Death Eater: Love me, love me, say that you love me…
Scabior: We got a picture of you running through these woods. If you don’t talk, we’ll show it to everyone and tell them you’re trying to be like Edward Cullen.
Harry: Okay, okay, I’ll talk!
Scabior: Darn, you are prettier than me.
Harry: I exfoliate.
‘Oh my gosh. Snape lied. He does not have Lily’s eyes.’
Snatcher: Wow, so that’s what a bee allergy looks like. That is rough, little dude.
Harry: Buzz off.
Snatcher: Boys, we have a clever one here. Fenrir, lunch time!
Death Eater: Anything to say, Potter?
Harry: Yeah. Why does your breath smell like dung beetles?
Death Eater: *Turns to the other Death Eaters* They weren’t chocolate covered beetles?
Group of Death Eaters: *All laugh*
Scabior: ‘I haven’t seen a face that ugly since *slyly glancing at Greyback* first meeting you, Fenrir…’
Scabior: ‘I don’t know, guys. He kinda looks like that dude from The Woman in Black.’
-The Doctor’s Daughter
‘Harry, who are these people? I thought I was your best friend!’
Scabior: Come on, Potter! We want more information!
Harry: But I swear that’s all I know about the Fantastic Beasts movie!