11 Comebacks to Use when Voldemort Says He’s Going to Kill You


If nothing else, you’ll definitely be killed! =P

  1. “What did I ever do to y..oh, nevermind.”
  2. “Oh, ha ha, you got me!! Am I on Punk’d? Where’s the camera guy, huh? Where!?”
  3. “Wow, you’re even dumber than you look, and that’s saying something. What kind of idiot tells their victim what they’re about to do?! I’m ready for you now!!” *Prepare yourself by getting into various Matrix positions, beckon him with one finger*
  4. “And she’s all ‘F.Y.I., he’s so into me and not you.’ and I’m all ‘Yeah, right, whatever.’ Oh, I’m sorry! Did you say something?”
  5. “Why do you have to be so mean?!” *produce fake tears and throw a tantrum*
  6. “Uh, I’m not here right now. Please leave a message after the beep. BEEEP!!!” *take off running*
  7. *cackle with laughter* “You sound like a girl ! Hey honey, come listen to this guy talk!”
  8. “My dear snake-man, I must say your manners are quite poor. I have just the thing!” *put on record and sing along* ‘Please – say – please – and – thank you for saying thank you!’
  9. “Are you a joke? Clearly you’re a joke!”
  10. “I’m sensing some self-confidence problems. I hear they have an excellent psychiatric ward at St. Mungo’s…and while you’re there, maybe you could have them do something about your nose.”
  11. “Oh yeah, and you’ve told Harry that how many times now? I’m soooooo scared!”

Submitted by: Ravenclaw4life

Eric S.

Eric Scull joined MuggleNet in November of 2002. Since that time, he’s presided over a number of sections, including name origins and Dear Hogwarts, but none so long as the recently revived Crazy Caption Contest. Eric is a Hufflepuff who lives in Chicago and loves the outdoors.