26 More Ways to Annoy Lord Voldemort
Just in case you survived our other list.
- At Death Eater meetings, repeatedly accuse Voldemort of glue sniffing addictions.
- Only speak in questions. As soon as Voldy makes a statement, shout “I win!”
- Arrive at a Death Eater meeting late, say you’re sorry but you didn’t have time for lunch, and you’ll be nibbling during the meeting. Then eat raw potatoes.
- Save an empty seat in the Death Eater circle for your imaginary friend Clyde.
- At random times in a conversation, say to him, “Hi,” “Hello Sir, how are you?” or “Have a good day, thank you.”
- Call Voldy “Champ” or “Tiger.” Refer to yourself as “Coach.”
- Insist on holding the Death Eater Christmas Bash.
- Constantly bring in new dishes as gifts for Voldemort that you tried to cook but didn’t quite come out right.
- Everytime Voldy asks you to do something, ask him if he wants fries with that.
- Hang banners up declaring it National Harry Potter Week. Throw confetti and sign “For He’s A Jolly Good Fellow.”
- Present him with candy at random times.
- Send him one of those “Sending you a smile!” cards. Or, when
- Harry thwarts him yet again, an “I’m sorry for your loss” card.
- Make him a basket full of goodies and insist he take it to bring some cheerfullness into his life.
- Get caught decorating his rooms with pastel colors and bows and tell him
- it’s to “Liven up the atmosphere in this place, it’s so depressing!”
- Tell him he should try more bran in his diet, or eat a banana. They release endorphins that make you happy!
- Get him a nutritionist and tell him your concerned at how pale and abnormally proportioned he is.
- Get the Clinique people at the mall to give him a make-over.
- Make him Mickey Mouse chocolate chip pancakes for breakfast.
- Record him snoring.
- As he walks out the door to engage in more nefarious deeds, start singing “Hi-ho, hi-ho, it’s off to work we go!”
- Ask him what he sees when he looks in the Mirror of Erised.
- As he’s plotting dark deeds, pretend to cough and mutter things like Not gonna work,” or “stupid.”
- Everytime he says something particularly nasty or evil, give him a smiley face cookie.
- Sing him a lullaby when he goes to bed.
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