36 Ways You Know You’ve Read Too Much Fan Fiction

Guaranteed to confuddle the least confuddleable

  1. You start shipping all of your friends.
  2. …you even ship some of them with inanimate objects.
  3. Now you even enjoy shipping the MuggleCast/PotterCast people (Johmerson, Bork, Jurrito, Bemma, Greg/Laura/Jamie, Memerson, Wartz, K’leric, etc.)
  4. You find a way to relate everything in literature to Harry Potter.
  5. You decide that Harry/Giant Squid would make a cute couple.
  6. You know for a fact that Voldemort actually enjoys being called Voldy.
  7. Jo and Voldy are on a first name basis.
  8. …and they have cute pet names.
  9. Sirius comes back as a ghost.
  10. …so does Cedric.
  11. Harry decides to live as a Muggle.
  12. You analyze the prophecy so much, you’ve given it new meaning.
  13. You refuse to admit that Remus is straight.
  14. …because he obviously isn’t!
  15. You’ve gone into such detail on Luna’s crazy theories that even you believe they’re real.
  16. Draco stopped calling Hermione a Mudblood.
  17. …and now they make a cute couple.
  18. Snape is actually nice to Hermione.
  19. …and they make a great couple.
  20. …and he’s nice to Harry, too.
  21. …and even Ron.
  22. You start saying things like, “That reminds me of this fan fic I read the other day!”
  23. You think the Marriage Law will actually come into effect in the book
  24. Sirius walks out from behind the veil.
  25. …and he never actually died. It was all a scam!
  26. You start confusing fan fic with the books. (Example: You were expecting Snape to be nice.)
  27. You’ve read Hermione/Dumbledore stories.
  28. You hear a song and say, “I have to write a fan fic about that!”
  29. You read a story that reminds you of a movie, so you watch the movie and it reminds you of a fan fiction, and you can’t remember which came first.
  30. Instead of writing a book report, you write a new fan fiction.
  31. You still think Harry and Hermione have a chance.
  32. You’ve read Fred/George stories before.
  33. …and you couldn’t sleep for a week.
  34. …you’ve also read Ginny/Ron.
  35. …and you almost threw up.
  36. It’s sometimes hard for you to remember who actually wrote the Harry Potter books.

Submitted by: Jackie, Lizzie, TF, Kevin and Diego

Eric S.

Eric Scull joined MuggleNet in November of 2002. Since that time, he’s presided over a number of sections, including name origins and Dear Hogwarts, but none so long as the recently revived Crazy Caption Contest. Eric is a Hufflepuff who lives in Chicago and loves the outdoors.