CC #372: Week of December 29, 2013
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‘So that’s twerking?’
Griphook: Brrrr. Vrrr. Brrr.
Harry: Stop making car sounds and start driving.
Daniel Radcliffe: ‘Wow, The Wizarding World of Harry Potter: Diagon Alley will be amazing with this ride! Wait… is that the tracks ending in mid-air? Why didn’t they tell us they weren’t done with this ride before they let us go on it?!’
Harry: You DO know how to drive this thing, right?!
Griphook: It’s not my fault they got the first updated model in forty years, the day after I left!
-The Doctor’s Daughter
Harry: ‘Hurry, Griphook, the Roadrunner’s getting away!’
Griphook: ‘The trouble with Muggle bankers is that they never learn how to properly drive a minecar at high-speed through dangerous tunnels on rickety tracks. That is why their economy crashes so often.’
At that moment, the group silently agreed that no one should ever sit behind Hagrid after he’d eaten a burrito. Never again.
Harry: What was that bumping sound?
Griphook: We just ran over a woman tied to the tracks. Don’t worry; it happens all the time.
Hermione: *Makes expression in picture*
Harry: ‘Hurry! Indiana Jones is ahead of us!’
Hermione: Hey, look at the picture the ride took of us!
Griphook: Dang it! I blinked! Let’s go ride again.
Ron: Oh, no, I am NOT getting back on that coaster.
Harry: Come on, guys, let’s just go check out the other rides.
Hermione: ‘Hey, how about we go on The Dragon Escape next?
And so, Griphook failed yet again to imitate Clint Eastwood.
In this issue of Wizarding Fashion we see Griphook sporting the new hottest fashion trend this season: cast iron bras.
Harry: How fast are we going?
Griphook: Don’t know. The last time we went this fast, we crashed and I ended up looking like this. After that, I changed my name to Griphook.
Hermione: What was your name before?
Griphook: Ryan Gosling.
Griphook: ‘We’re gonna die. Anyone know how to drive stick?’
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