Skip to content

MuggleNet

  • Site
    • Contact Us & FAQ
    • History
    • Meet the Team
    • MuggleNet Live!
    • Press
    • Publications
    • Special Projects
    • Volunteer with Us!
    • Year in Review
  • Podcasts
    • Alohomora!
    • Full Circle
    • LITHAPPENS
    • Potterversity
    • Promptly Potter
    • SpeakBeasty
  • Harry Potter
    • Book Quotes
    • Book Series
    • Coloring Books
    • Film Companions
    • Film Series
    • Hogwarts Library
    • Little Things
    • Music
    • Video Games
  • Fantastic Beasts
    • Book
    • Coloring Books
    • Film Companions
    • Fantastic Beasts Film Quotes
    • Film Series
    • Little Things
    • Music
    • Video Games
  • The Quibbler
    • Owl Post
    • Bathilda’s Notebook
    • The Department of MYTHteries
    • The Dirigible Plum
    • Into the Floo
    • Muggle Studies
    • The Pensieve Papers
    • The Three Broomsticks
    • April Fools’
    • The Quibbler Vault
  • The Daily Prophet
    • Book Trolley
    • Editorials
    • Event Reports
    • Exclusive Interviews
    • Features
    • Giveaways
    • Listicles
    • Merchandise Reviews
    • Movie Reviews
    • Television Reviews
    • Theater Reviews
    • Wizolympics
  • Muggle World
    • Charity
    • Exhibitions
    • J.K. Rowling
    • MinaLima
    • Quadball
    • Studio Tours
    • Theatrical Play
    • Theme Parks
    • Wizarding World Digital
  • Fans & Fun
    • Crazy Caption Contest
    • Fan Focus
    • Fandom
    • Fandom Sortings
    • Fandom Timeline
    • Fun Lists
    • Games and Trivia
    • GNOMEs
    • Potter DIY
    • Potter Weddings
    • #PotterItForward
    • Rosmerta’s Recipes
    • Song Parodies
    • Wizard Rock
    • Wizarding Wordle
  • Site
    • Contact Us & FAQ
    • History
    • Meet the Team
    • MuggleNet Live!
    • Press
    • Publications
    • Special Projects
    • Volunteer with Us!
    • Year in Review
  • Podcasts
    • Alohomora!
    • Full Circle
    • LITHAPPENS
    • Potterversity
    • Promptly Potter
    • SpeakBeasty
  • Harry Potter
    • Book Quotes
    • Book Series
    • Coloring Books
    • Film Companions
    • Film Series
    • Hogwarts Library
    • Little Things
    • Music
    • Video Games
  • Fantastic Beasts
    • Book
    • Coloring Books
    • Film Companions
    • Fantastic Beasts Film Quotes
    • Film Series
    • Little Things
    • Music
    • Video Games
  • The Quibbler
    • Owl Post
    • Bathilda’s Notebook
    • The Department of MYTHteries
    • The Dirigible Plum
    • Into the Floo
    • Muggle Studies
    • The Pensieve Papers
    • The Three Broomsticks
    • April Fools’
    • The Quibbler Vault
  • The Daily Prophet
    • Book Trolley
    • Editorials
    • Event Reports
    • Exclusive Interviews
    • Features
    • Giveaways
    • Listicles
    • Merchandise Reviews
    • Movie Reviews
    • Television Reviews
    • Theater Reviews
    • Wizolympics
  • Muggle World
    • Charity
    • Exhibitions
    • J.K. Rowling
    • MinaLima
    • Quadball
    • Studio Tours
    • Theatrical Play
    • Theme Parks
    • Wizarding World Digital
  • Fans & Fun
    • Crazy Caption Contest
    • Fan Focus
    • Fandom
    • Fandom Sortings
    • Fandom Timeline
    • Fun Lists
    • Games and Trivia
    • GNOMEs
    • Potter DIY
    • Potter Weddings
    • #PotterItForward
    • Rosmerta’s Recipes
    • Song Parodies
    • Wizard Rock
    • Wizarding Wordle
  • Listicles

The 12 “Potter” Characters You Meet on Tinder

by Charlotte Graham · August 26, 2015

One of the things we love so much about the Harry Potter books is the wonderful, unique characters who often do the thing we least expect. But faced with the advent of Tinder, you can’t tell me that Harry and the others would’ve been able to avoid the “Am I more of the mountaintop yoga profile pic or the enjoying brunch profile pic?” dilemma. They’re only human, after all.

Because Tinder, my friends, is the great leveler. It reduces all of humanity to its lowest common denominator, with an appeal to both our primal instincts and our love of clichés and tropes as a way of pigeon-holing other people.

Basically, that is all to say that I love it, and if it weren’t for Tinder I would never have gotten a boyfriend.

A number of the Harry Potter characters were great at magic, morals, and fighting but not so hot on relationships – so let’s find out how they would’ve gone when confronted by modern-day Internet romance.

1. THE GIRL WHO COULD NOT FIND ANYONE WORSE ON TINDER THAN SHE’S DATED ALREADY

ginny

Ginny has never quite trusted text messages, and Facebook chat gives her conniptions, but her bar for online dating is set at “not a murderer,” so she’s having a pretty good time, actually.

Her bio specifies that she doesn’t want to date anyone who keeps reptiles, which seems like an odd thing to say.

2. THE SCHEMER

draco

This isn’t his real name or his real puppy. He’s not planning for the connection to become meaningful enough for the person in question to find out. Or care.

He has an algorithm that right-swipes for him.

3. THE EMBARRASSED CELEBRITY

harry

Like poor Ed Sheeran, Tinder forced a verified blue tick on a mortified Harry Potter’s account because of the sheer number of people impersonating him on the app.

You could usually tell the imposters anyway because of the number of “ride my Firebolt” jokes in their bios; the real Harry’s, whatever the text, is essentially an awkward “Erm…”

4. THE LIVE-ACTION MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE LYRIC

bella

The things she says are so disturbing that even the most committed of hook-up artists, using Tinder exclusively after midnight on a Saturday, are worried about whether what she’s saying is true. After all, you can’t just go around saying you’ll do things like that with people’s blood; it’d be a crime.

In saying that, it doesn’t really put guys off. Some guys aren’t put off by anything.

5. THE GUY WHO HAS IT ALL BUT JUST CAN’T GET A RIGHT SWIPE

neville

Everyone knows this guy. He’s smart, genuinely nice, and has gone from a bit dorky to totally smoking looks wise, almost overnight.

Is it bad luck? Trying too hard? Or is it genuinely that hard to believe that he’s real?

Whatever it is, no kitten, no puppy, no army action, or underwear shot can convince a girl to swipe right on this guy. Sometimes he thinks he was cursed at birth.

6. THE PERSON TRYING TO HIDE AN AWKWARD FEATURE OF THEIR APPEARANCE

voldy

Tinder users’ suspicions are automatically aroused when another user’s pic is blurry, only shows a small sliver of them, or has something obscuring their face.

I don’t want to be rude, but Voldemort doesn’t have any nose.

The other tactic for hiding what you look like is to only post group photos so that users can’t tell which are of you and which are your friends.

Voldemort doesn’t have any friends.

7. THE GIRL WHO DOESN’T REALIZE SHE’S TOO GOOD FOR TINDER

hermione

Hermione studiously agonizes over every candidate before swiping and looks up all their mutual friends on Facebook to make a mental matrix of where they’d fit into her life before checking out their LinkedIn to see whether they did any post-graduate study.

On the rare occasion she swipes right, her Austen-quoting opening gambits to the conversation are usually parried with a simple “DTF?”

Two weeks after downloading it, she will delete the app in a slightly tipsy fury and get another cat. She will download it again a month later.

8. THE MID-LIFE CRISIS

lucius

Doesn’t realize this links up with his Facebook account. He’s about to find out the hard way.

9. THE GAMER

ron

Want a fishing portrait, an “I’m going down, I’m yelling Tinder ;-)” joke, or a conversation that starts with practiced faux-whimsy like “Would you rather eat a marshmallow-sized cloud or a cloud-sized marshmallow”? Look no further than Ronald Weasley.

He’s read every top-ten list of tips to impressing witches on Tinder, and the only thing standing between him and trying all of them is time and his swiping hand.

10. THE MASSIVE UNDERSTATEMENT

hagrid

When his bio says, “I’m tall, dark, and cute animals are my life,” it does not in any sense mean what you think it means. And by the time your first date ends looking for his escaped massive spider in the Forbidden Forest, it’s already too late.

See also: “I’m really into politics” (i.e., not sure if you’re sexily issues-literate or “Trump 2016!”).

11. THE ALWAYS-HOPEFUL

severus

Yes, this is a photo of him. From 30 years ago. It is also the last time he had a haircut. No one has dared take a photo of him in the ensuing decades, and he has no idea that this is not still what he looks like.

12. THE DARK HORSE

Luna

No one is both this hot and this weird. Guys who have got as far as conversing with Luna have theories that include her being a spam-bot, a Hollywood movie viral marketing campaign, or a Buzzfeed writer trying to generate content for her next trend piece about Millennial dating.

They are not sure which of these prospects is most terrifying.

Social:

  • Next story First Pics of Rupert On Set of Mystery Project
  • Previous story J.K. Rowling Addresses the Whiteness of “Fantastic Beasts”

MuggleNet Archive

Important Dates

July 2025

Mon, Jul 7

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part 2 movie (London premiere)
Recurs yearly

2011

Tue, Jul 8

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire book
Recurs yearly

2000

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban book (UK)
Recurs yearly

1999

WWoHP Diagon Alley at Universal Orlando's anniversary
Recurs yearly

2014

Wed, Jul 9

David O'Hara's birthday
Recurs yearly

Albert Runcorn

Thu, Jul 10

Fiona Shaw's birthday
Recurs yearly

Petunia Dursley

Fri, Jul 11

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix movie (US)
Recurs yearly

2007

MuggleNet podcasts are sponsored in part by Secretlab.

Thanks to its research-backed ergonomic design, including a proprietary 4-way adaptive lumbar support system, the Secretlab TITAN Evo Harry Potter Edition will comfortably support you even when you’re up to no good.

Did You Know

Natalie McDonald, who appeared in Harry Potter and Goblet of Fire, is named after a real girl who was dying of leukemia.

Potter History

December 29, 2005 – Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince is included on USA Today’s list of top books of 2005.

Potter Quote

“Sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often. Best to say nothing at all, my dear man.”

MuggleNet is an unofficial Harry Potter fansite.
Please email us if you have any questions or concerns.
© 1999–2025 MuggleNet.com. All rights reserved.
Privacy Policy | COPPA Policy | Terms of Use | Feedback


MuggleNet is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program and Bookshop.org's affiliate program, affiliate advertising programs designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.com and bookshop.org.