CC #422: Week of May 31, 2020

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When somebody breaks a lamp, the slumber party is over.

McGonagall: “Now, remember, students. We are in lockdown because Sirius Black was spotted in the castle. We must stay here for 48 hours and listen to poetry slams to take our mind off of it. And, if anyone has a problem, just remember this is all Neville’s fault.”
—Mr. E.

Minerva: “Welcome to your first 4-in-the-morning dance tutorial.”
—Ravenclaw M.

McGonagall stopped. She had a funny feeling that students might be out of bed. But then, she just shook her head at her own paranoia and continued on out of the common room without looking back.

McGonagall: “Students, today we are here to discuss why Crookshanks is smarter than Neville.”

McGonagall: “Pillow fights are acceptable. Transfiguring the Slytherin pillows into Blast-Ended Skrewts is not! Ten points from Gryffindor!” (Quietly) “Next time, try snakes or spiders.”

Percy: “We get it, Professor.”
Hermione: “I’m not Professor McGonagall. I just woke up.”
—Why So Sirius

McGonagall: “Why aren’t you all wearing red? Where did you get this stuff? Aéropostale?”

McGonagall: “I am extremely disappointed. Not a single one of you brought Harry Potter Scene-It to this sleepover.”
—Serena R.

McGonagall: “You’ve done very well, and I’m proud of you. Always remember that when attempting to disguise oneself as a Muggle, it’s crucial that one look as untidy as possible.”

McGonagall: “Sir Cadogan, did you let a strange man into Gryffindor Tower?”
Sir Cadogan: “Absolutely not! The man I let in was not strange at all! I recognized him as Sirius Black. You know, from the wanted posters.”

When your friend group gets into something stupid and you’re the mom friend so you have to scold them about their actions.
—Katie R.

McGonagall: “Come now, Weasley, how could Carmen Sandiego possibly get into Gryffindor Tower? She’s not even from our franchise!”
Ron: “I don’t know how she got in. I just want to know where in the world she is now.”

Ron: “So who invited all the professors to our pajama party?”
Neville: “Sorry. I was trying to be polite. I didn’t think any of them would actually show!”
Ron: “Well, at least McGonagall is nice to be around.”
Snape: “I haven’t been invited to a party in years. I think I shall enjoy this.”
Ron: “Wha–?”
Trelawney: “The first to fall asleep shall awaken with a mustache and a monocle they cannot remove. This I have foreseen!”
Binns: “The first modern pajama party was recorded to have begun approximately 500 years ago…” (Drones on)
Ron: “Err…”
Lockhart: “You look familiar. Have I given you an autograph before?”
Ron: “For crying out loud… Wait. Aren’t you dead?”
Quirrell: “N-n-not even death can k-keep me from a party, Mr. Weasley.”






Eric S.

Eric Scull joined MuggleNet in November of 2002. Since that time, he’s presided over a number of sections, including name origins and Dear Hogwarts, but none so long as the recently revived Crazy Caption Contest. Eric is a Hufflepuff who lives in Chicago and loves the outdoors.