CC #441: Week of February 21, 2021
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Michael Gambon: “Ralph, where is your bib? The lobster feast starts in ten minutes.”
Voldemort: “Have you tried the sandwiches at Madam Puddifoot’s?”
Dumbledore: “Hey! You look familiar! Have we met?”
Voldemort: “Oh, I just have one of those faces…” (adjusts fake nose nervously)
“Earwax? In a jelly bean? You’re pulling my leg!”
—Friend of Fawkes
Dumbledore: “So that’s really all it took?”
Voldemort: “Yep! I got my nose back, and I instantly turned good.”
Dumbledore: “Tom, we found your diary. We saw you were having problems on the Quidditch field.”
Voldemort: “I have 99 problems but Quidditch ain’t one.”
Picard: (as Voldemort) “Are you sure you programmed the Holodeck correctly? This doesn’t look like my Dixon Hill episode.”
Riker: (as Dumbledore) “There may be a computer glitch. Let me get out of this beard napkin, and I’ll go check it out.”
—Friend of Fawkes
Voldemort: “Have you seen my invisible beard?”
Dumbledore: “No, let me look closer.”
When you agree to stop trying to kill Harry Potter in exchange for a nose.
Long-time friends Lord Voldemort and Albus Dumbledore discuss methods of killing teenage boys over tea.
It doesn’t matter if you are lifelong friends or bitter enemies: everyone stops to socialize at tea time.
Voldemort: “Hey! Wanna hear some gossip?”
Dumbledore: “No! Why would I be so nosy?”
Gambon: “That cavity looks serious. You better call a dentist.”
It was only when they met during the filming of the fifth movie that Michael Gambon learned that Ralph Fiennes had a nose in real life.
Voldemort: “They edit out my nose, can you believe? The beauty standards for villains these days…”
Dumbledore: “You’re not going to believe what they asked Sauron to wear!”
“It’s right there, in your teeth. No, more to the right. Look, do you want me to get it?”
When you pretend to like the popular girl just so you can come up with an elaborate plan to kill her.
My friend listening to my problems.