CC #445: Week of April 18, 2021
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Dumbledore: “Attention. ATTENTION! Will the owner of the ’97 Honda Civic please move their car? You’re about to get towed!”
Hermione: “Do you think they’ll give us extra credit for being offical Triwizard hostages?”
Harry: (thinking) “I can’t let Ron see all these hickeys Ginny gave me.”
Promotional still from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, showing Daniel Radcliffe as Harry Potter, Rupert Grint as Ron Weasley, and Emma Watson’s eyebrow game as Hermione Granger.
In the upcoming Cursed Child movie, everyone watches in shock as the humiliated Cedric climbs out of the lake and instantly casts Avada Kedavra on Neville for no reason.
Dumbledore: “Aruba, Jamaica, ooh I wanna take ya. Bermuda, Bahama… Wait, my voice is still amplified?”
Dumbledore: “Even though Harry has technically finished last, we’ve decided to award him second place for outstanding moral fiber.”
Ron: “Now, why can’t they ever do that for the Chudley Cannons?”
So why does Fleur’s hair look softly wind-blown while the trio looks like drowned rats?
—Friend of Fawkes
Fleur: “So, we’re not going to talk about how my little sister’s life was endangered for a tournament? Okay. That’s fine. Whatever.”
The students watched with growing concern as it became evident Viktor Krum was not turning back into a human.
“What do you mean this task was ‘optional’?”
Hermione: “Harry, we need to go back. I’ve just realized I lost my copy of Hogwarts, A History at the bottom of the lake.”
Harry: “But, sir, this is the annual Hogwarts water park field trip! We just got here!”
Dumbledore: “I’m sorry, Harry, but when thunder roars, go indoors.”
“Welcome to the 75th annual Hunger Games! As a reminder that you cannot rebel against Lord Voldemort, the male and female tributes will be reaped from the existing pool of Killing Curse survivors!”
Hermione: “Did you get all the Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans and wizard cards down there?”
Harry: “Uh, I think you’ve been playing the video games too much.”
Hermione: “I do hope you ran into a Save Book after completing this level.”
The look on their faces when they lost Gryffindor 100 points for failing to find McGonagall’s earring at the bottom of the lake.
Ron: “Time for pre-match checklist. Boxing gloves?”
Ron: “Enough anabolic steroids to kill a manticore?”
Harry: (sweating and frothing at the mouth)
Ron: “Excellent. You got this, Harry!”
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