CC #460: Week of November 21, 2021

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Jacob: (thinking) “Why are they staring at that old pile of rocks like it’s St. Paul’s?”

Theseus: “Sorry for getting engaged to your childhood crush.”
Newt: “Water under the bridge. Like this bridge we’re standing on.”
Theseus: “But there is no water under this bridge.”
Newt: “Exactly.”

This was the last time Nagini and Tina were ever seen in the Fantastic Beasts franchise.

Tina: “So, this is Hogwarts?”
Newt: “Yes.”
Tina: “Meh. It doesn’t seem so special.”
Newt: “Well, until Ilvermorny is seen on screen, you can’t compare it.”

The guy behind Theseus: “Four cattle calls, six call-backs, and this is all I get?”
—Friend of Fawkes

With Leta gone and Tina and Nagini missing from Secrets of Dumbledore, the franchise ultimately had to be retitled Fantastic Witches and Where Not to Find Them.

Dumbledore: “Welcome, all, to this year’s Squid Game.”

Nagini: “Why do I get the feeling I’ll die here someday?”

Jacob – when everyone else is staring at something fierce and scary in the distance and you’re admiring a bowler hat.

It was a great photo shoot until they noticed the Muggle had wandered into every shot.

“I told you the mall was too crowded.”

Jacob: “So, one minute I’m in New York; the next minute I’m in England. Did Queenie slip something into my gigglewater?”
—Friend of Fawkes

Jacob: “I’m beginning to think none of you guys know anything. I asked for your biggest magic trick and Newt pulled a quarter from my ear.”

Nagini – when you are dressed for a party but are with a bunch of businessmen and have to throw on a coat.
—Hagrid’s Helper

Eddie Redmayne: (spent three months trying to nail the “steely-eyed look” for a three-second camera shot)
—Friend of Fawkes

Newt: (shouts) “ROCK AND ROLL!!”

Newt and Theseus: “Back to school again, I guess.”
Tina: “Still not as good as Ilvermorny.”
Nagini: “Maybe I’ll come here again.”
Jacob: “What are we looking at exactly?”

Newt: “Don’t look right now, but damn, she’s hot.”
Kowalski: (turns)

Me and my squad coming to get J.K. Rowling for killing off Dobby.
—Esther C.

When everyone’s mad at someone and you have no idea why.

Me and my friends watching the approach of 2022.

Newt: “And Tina, here is my favorite place on the Hogwarts grounds, this beautiful, ornate bridge. Hope it’s never smashed to pieces by giants or something.”







Eric S.

Eric Scull joined MuggleNet in November of 2002. Since that time, he’s presided over a number of sections, including name origins and Dear Hogwarts, but none so long as the recently revived Crazy Caption Contest. Eric is a Hufflepuff who lives in Chicago and loves the outdoors.