CC #479, Week of October 23, 2022


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Fat Lady: “Password?”
Seamus: “Gryff!nd0r_1.”

Me and my friends in line to buy tickets for the Taylor Swift Eras Tour.

“Great. Some idiot glued himself to the Fat Lady’s portrait to protest House-Elf abuse.”

When you have guests over and are showing off your excessive artwork collection.
—Hagrid’s Helper

Fat Lady: “Wait, wait. Seamus gave me a new song to sing.”
(Gryffindor student says password)
Fat Lady: (clears throat) “Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down…”
(everybody groans)

Fat Lady: “Stop! In the name of me!”

Fat Lady: “Interrupt me just one more time, Gryffindork, and your password will be ‘#%*& %&&*!'”
—Friend of Fawkes

When In-N-Out tells the drive-thru line they ran out of fries.

When you accomplish something amazing but can’t do it in front of other people.
—Hagrid’s Helper

Girls in the portrait on the right: “All right, then; once the Fat Lady is done with her solo, we jump into ‘The Schuyler Sisters.’ The kids will love it!”
—Lauren’s Turtle

Fat Lady: “Stop right there! Nobody takes another step until you put on your magical masks!”
—Friend of Fawkes

Seamus: “Fortuna Major.”
Fat Lady: “That’s not what I want to hear.”
Seamus: “I won’t say it.”
Fat Lady: “Then you can’t come in.”
Seamus: (sighs) “Yes, you do look like you’ve lost a few pounds.”
Fat Lady: “Enter.”

Dean: “Is that a portrait of Voldemort?”

Seamus: “C’mon! I’ve got to go to the loo!”
Fat Lady: “Not my problem, Baby Bladder! I’ve got high notes to hit and a glass to crack!”
—Friend of Fawkes

Fat Lady: “No, you’re not coming in until Harry sings my favorite Weird Al song.”

Fat Lady: “Quick, off the stairs! This set vanishes for an hour every 100 years. You only have seconds!”
Student: (laughing) “Yeah, right. You just don’t want to open right—”
(stairs vanish)




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Eric S.

Eric Scull joined MuggleNet in November of 2002. Since that time, he’s presided over a number of sections, including name origins and Dear Hogwarts, but none so long as the recently revived Crazy Caption Contest. Eric is a Hufflepuff who lives in Chicago and loves the outdoors.