CC #483, Week of January 29, 2023

Lucius Malfoy sitting at home with two elegant canines

Credit: Warner Bros. Pictures


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Sirius: “Did you take the picture yet?”
—Draco’s GF

Harry: “What you got there?”
Sirius: “A butterbeer.”
—Glenn V.

Hermione: “Should we tell Sirius the importance of not insulting Buckbeak?”
Sirius: “Now, let’s get out of here, you big, ugly chicken.”
Harry: “Nah, he’ll figure it out.”

“These perfume commercials just keep getting weirder and weirder.”

Sirius: “Get on, loser. We’re going to break out of prison.”
—Wingardium Leviloser

“Um, Sirius? I think something is wrong with your horse. It looks a little… bird.”

Harry: “Wait. Before you go, could you explain to me how you know about the Marauder’s Map?”
Sirius: “Read the book, Harry.”

“Harry, our Uber is waiting.”
—Kim K.

Sirius: “Like my ride, Harry?”
Harry & Hermione: “…”

Sirius: “Well, I’m glad you bought my story about me not murdering your parents. Wait – I mean, accepted the TRUE story of me not murdering your parents.”
Harry: “Hey, wait a second…”
Sirius: “Gotta go, bye!”

Sirius: “So, you’re sure you don’t know where Hagrid kept my motorcycle?”

Sirius: “And once my name is cleared, you can come live with me, Harry!”
Harry: “Hooray! I’m so excited to not have to live with the Dursleys!”
(Dumbledore giggles evilly in the distance.)

Sirius: “Don’t forget what I taught you, Harry. Collect every Bertie Bott’s Bean you can find, eat Chocolate Frogs to maintain your stamina, and hold down the mouse button to aim your wand.”
Harry: “Mouse button?”

They see me rollin’
They hatin’
Patrollin’ and tryna catch me ridin’ dirty


Harry: “Where will you go, Sirius?”
Sirius: “The next time you see me, I will be undercover as President Harry Truman.”
Harry: “…That’s a weird choice.”
Sirius: “In theaters this July, Harry!”

It took three weeks for anyone to notice the statue of Sirius and Buckbeak was moving all too often.

Sirius: “Wait – you went back in time three hours to save me from the Dementors? If you have the power of time travel, why not go back 12 years and save me from being sent to Azkaban in the first place?”
Hermione: “Because, uh… that would create a paradox… or something…”

Sirius: “So you went back in time to save me, eh? What else can you tell me?”
Harry: “Well, there is Brexit and Megxit, Zoom and COVID-19, TikTok and…
Sirius: “You can’t make up silly words.”

Sirius: “And yes, Hermione, that is what your hair looks like from the back.”

Sirius: “You saved my life, Harry! Unless, of course, I happen to fall into some drapery at some point. That’s my one weakness.”

Sirius: “I am the Hippogentaur!”
Harry & Hermione: “Cool. Now, GO!”

Sirius: “So, Buckbeak, I hear you clawed up Lucius Malfoy’s kid?”
Buckbeak: “Lol, I sure did.”
Sirius: “Lol, high five.”





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Eric S.

Eric Scull joined MuggleNet in November of 2002. Since that time, he’s presided over a number of sections, including name origins and Dear Hogwarts, but none so long as the recently revived Crazy Caption Contest. Eric is a Hufflepuff who lives in Chicago and loves the outdoors.