Dear Dumbledore: Hermione’s Demands for Elf Rights
Dear Professor Dumbledore,
I am writing to you concerning the house-elf situation that currently plagues Hogwarts. While at the start-of-term feast, I overheard Nearly Headless Nick mention that the aforementioned beings are currently enslaved by the school, something I was not previously aware of. Though I am certain you are cognizant of the horrid ways in which house-elves are treated, and that they are not nearly as mishandled here at Hogwarts as they are elsewhere, I would still like to make a few requests regarding their well-being.
To start, I truly believe our house-elves deserve pay. With all the work that they do, from cooking our meals to cleaning our common rooms, they have undoubtedly earned their spots on the payroll. Without them, Hogwarts would be incapable of functioning properly – therefore, they are as crucial to the school as each and every professor. In addition, I feel as though it is well warranted to ask for the elves to receive days off and vacation leave, for it is immoral to force them to work hours on end without any breaks. Though I mean no disrespect, I am certain you have been on holiday at least once in the past year. Do you not think house-elves should also be given time to relax and escape from their busy work lives?
Although this may be a big ask, I do feel it is within reason to inquire about the free will of Hogwarts’s employees as well. As you are the wisest wizard alive, I am sure you recognize the inhumanity behind the practice of lifelong servitude. Our house-elves deserve to live their lives on their own terms, just as everyone else does. Take Dobby, for instance; though he was miserable working for the Malfoys, now that he has been unfettered, he could not be any happier. I think we should open up such a choice to all of our elves.
While I am aware that house-elves are being terribly treated throughout the world, I feel as though Hogwarts could act as an example of how they deserve to be treated. Our school is viewed as a leading wizarding world institution, and I believe we could have a large impact. Subsequently, take my above words as a guide on how to liberate the Hogwarts house-elves, and thus the larger population. My hope is that someday, every house-elf will be given the choice of the terms under which they work. They need to be given the basic rights we all have; what have they done to deserve slavery? It is improper that they are magically forced to complete tasks against their will, and I will not stand for it. Please utilize your power to do good for these poor elves who have been mistreated for far too long.
President of the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare (SPEW)
P.S. If you are interested in joining SPEW, please reach out. A donation would also be accepted.