CC #490, Week of August 27, 2023

⬇️⬇️ Scroll down in the below area to read all captions from this week! ⬇️⬇️

“This week, the Western United States will be getting some warmer temps, with Montana down to New Mexico a little cooler. Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Iowa are on fire, and here in New York, we can expect a touch of snow. Back to you, Glen.”
—Hot Stu

Tonight on MACUSA’s Most Wanted: Percival Graves breaks down the facts you need to know to get these scumbags off the streets. But first, a look at the forecast for this week!
—Friend of Fawkes

How I think I look in the dressing rooms of malls.
—Margo

Me trying to figure out how many Taylor Swift Eras shows I can feasibly make it to this summer.
—Greta

Graves: “All right, gang, this is an emergency. ‘Barbie’ has overtaken ‘Deathly Hallows – Part 2’ as the highest-grossing Warner Bros. film. We’ve got to re-release our film to retake the top spot, just like Cameron did with ‘Avatar’ after it was overtaken by ‘Endgame.'”
—Sam

The Weather Channel: “Thank you for auditioning, Mr. Graves. However, we’re looking for a more casual, homespun look rather than an imperious, sinister murderer. Try CNN. They may have an opening.”
—Friend of Fawkes

It’s back-to-school season, and for first-time college students, you know what that means – surviving a dorm! You can make your new living situation more comfortable by expressing yourself through the wall decor of your new pad. A vintage map on the wall can add a lot of character to a personal space. And don’t forget some artistic black-and-white photos of your favorite celebs!
—Emory

Colin was afraid that make-up would go overboard on the brows… and they did!
—Friend of Fawkes

Trying to plan a family vacation when everyone lives in different states.
—Colby

“Go on! Try and guess what type of knot I have in my tie. Of course you can’t, you uncouth Muggle twit!”
—Friend of Fawkes

Colin Farrell: “They could have kept me as Grindelwald for the whole series, but noooo…”
—Sam

“Does this outfit make me look like I’m trying out to be in the Warblers on Glee?”
—Rose

“…And that concludes my presentation on why Daylight Savings Time is dumb.”
—Regan

“I may be in America in this film, but it’s better than f***in’ Bruges.”
—Jade