Dumbledore’s Amusing Words: A Letter to Mrs. Figg

My Dearest Arabella,

I hope this letter finds you as joyous and content as a kitty in a warm lap. I, as always, admire your work for The Order of Phoenix in which you have been skillfully functioning. I constantly look forward to your detailed follow-up letters every fortnight. Your devotion towards The Order and I is remarkable and cannot be thanked enough. Your being close to Harry gives me the impression that the boy is safe. I repeat myself that in case of an emergency or even if you sense an emergency, send me a letter first and foremost.

The season of summer must be shining bright in Little Whinging these days. I hope you are also beaming and blossoming like those honeysuckles and wisteria in your lovely garden. Speaking of your lush garden, I assume the basil, mint, and parsley have grown plenty. I am waiting for your special and famous pesto. Minerva and Pamona are looking forward to tasting it. My previous guess, asafoetida for the secret ingredient of your delicious pesto has been declared wrong by you once again. So, Day 51 of guessing the secret ingredient: cat hair?

In your previous letter, you made me aware of the fact that the Durselys will be leaving Harry at your house this weekend on the occasion of their son’s birthday. I remorsefully ask you not to be over-welcoming toward Harry. If you were friendly towards the boy and he liked your company, his aunt and uncle would never leave him at your place in the future and we cannot let that happen. With guilt in my heart, I am writing this to you. Be there for the boy but do not let him be aware of that. It is selfish but it will be better in the long run. I hope you understand my point of view on this situation, Arabella. Do write to me afterward about how the stay went.

I enjoy catching up on the latest news about your cats, but I insist you write about Harry first. Speaking of your adorable cats, I also read in your previous letter that Tibbles is now a mother, what a wonderful announcement! I hope she is enjoying the time with her little kittens. Arabella, be gracious and send me pictures of Tibbles and her kittens along with your next letter. What have you named the kittens? You wrote about their appearance but in paragraphs explaining how they look, you forgot to mention their names. Give my love to Snowy, Tufty, and Mr. Paws as well.

If I ever visit your place again in the foreseeable future, I cordially ask you to present me with the Muggle drink called cocaa kollaa. The last time I was at your house, I drank them and I still remember that fizzy and tangy taste.

Kindest and warmest regards,
Albus Dumbledore

PS: With this letter, I have also sent you a handmade crochet bed for Tibbles’s kittens. Please, send me pictures of them being cozy and fuzzy in it.