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  • Song Parodies

Wizard Boy

by Sana Nawaz · May 29, 2023

to the tune of “Big Boy” by SZA

It’s Hogwarts season
And now we got
A reason to get a wizard boy
I want a wizard boy
Give me a wizard boy

It’s Hogwarts season
And all the girls are
Leaving to get a wizard boy
I need a wizard boy
Give me a wizard boy

It’s Hogwarts season
And now we got
A reason to get a wizard boy
I want a wizard boy
Give me a wizard boy

I need a wizard boy with emerald orbs
Brave enough to face the Dark Lord
With a broomstick in hand
He’s quick on his feet
He’ll save the day and make my heart beat

Till my next seven lives
I need a wizard hottie
Makes his own spells with his wizarding body
For their next seven lives
Death Eaters are dead
Forget the Slytherins
I need a Gryffindor instead

Wizard boy with a wand in his hand
A lightning bolt tattooed on his forehead like a brand
With potions and charms on,
Potions and charms on, potions and charms
Fighting off Dementors with a Patronus Charm

Need a magical man
With a magical name
Serves me butterbeer with his magical hands
And I hope he asks me
To be his wizarding-wife
‘Cause gettin’ with a wizard boy
Will change your life

It’s Quidditch season
And all the witches be leaving
To catch a wizard boy
I want a wizard boy
Chase you like a Snitch boy

It’s Quidditch season
And all the witches be leaving
To catch a wizard boy
I want a wizard boy
I need a wizard boy

I need a Seeker with a lightning scar
Who flies so fast he could catch a falling star
The Quidditch pitch is cold and I’m shivering
But with my wizard boy by my side, I’m never quivering

Till the Snitch is caught
I need a wizarding hottie
Who’ll hold me close and never make me worry
About the Bludgers flying in the air
Forget those other guys
I need my wizarding boy instead

Wizard boy with a Snitch in his hand
A Firebolt, glasses on, he is one kind of a man
With potions and charms on,
Potions and charms on, potions and charms
Fighting off Voldemort with an Expelliarmus

Need a magical man
With a magical name
Serves me treacle tart with his magical hands
And I hope he asks me
To be his wizarding-wife
‘Cause gettin’ with a wizard boy
Will change your life

It’s Hogwarts season
And now we got
A reason to get a wizard boy
I want a wizard boy
Give me a wizard boy

It’s Hogwarts season
And all the girls are
Leaving to get a wizard boy
I need a wizard boy
Give me a wizard boy

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MuggleNet Archive

Important Dates

December 2025

Thu, Dec 4

The Tales of Beedle the Bard book
Recurs yearly

2008

Fri, Dec 5

Benedict Clarke's birthday
Recurs yearly

Young Severus Snape (DH2)

Sat, Dec 6

Newt Scamander disembarks from a steamship in New York harbor
Recurs yearly

1926

Oliver Masucci's birthday
Recurs yearly

Head of International Confederation of Wizards -FB3

Rubeus Hagrid's birthday
Recurs yearly

Sun, Dec 7

Henry Shaw, Jr. is killed
Recurs yearly

1926

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Did You Know

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Potter History

March 2000 – Chris Columbus is chosen as the director of “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.” Of note, Steven Spielberg was interested but did not get the job.

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“I’m Draco Malfoy, I’m Draco, I’m on your side!”

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