Week of June 8, 2003
Arthur: ‘Molly, tell me again why we didn’t stop at three kids?’
Mr. Weasley: ‘Hey, Harry this is normal right? I mean, six children running with trunks and animals in cages through a brick wall. Muggles do this all the time, right?’
Lee: And they’re off! Ginny is in the lead, but wait! Oh no! Mr. Weasly has lost control of his trolley! That will put him behind…
Harry: Lee? What are you doing?
Lee: Well, during the summer there isn’t any Hogwarts Quidditch to comment on, so I keep my skills fresh by doing the commentating for Weasley Trolley Races!
Harry: Oh…well where’s Ron?
Lee: Poor kid’s slower then a sloth!
Arthur: ‘Ginny, don’t feel so sad that Eric’s gone for a bit! Now that we have Maegan, maybe Percy will be picked for the Caption Contest for once!‘
…And in other news, hoards of shoppers stormed Tesco today, madly clearing the shelves in the sale of the century…
Mr. Weasley: Is that a ferret?
Ginny: No, Dad, that’s Draco Malfoy.
Mr. Weasley: Same thing…
As the Weasley family headed toward platform 9 3/4, they all paused to stare at the enormous mural which had recently been hung up on the wall: ‘Win $10,00 If You Can Find Waldo!’
Arthur Weasley: Okay everyone, from the top! One…two…three…
Everyone: *sings* The wheels on our trolleys go ’round and ’round, ’round and ’round, ‘round and ‘round! The wheels on our trolleys go ’round and ’round, all through the barrier! The wheels on our trolleys…
Mr. Weasley: First rule of Platform Nine and Three-Quarters: You do not talk about Platform Nine and Three-Quarters!
Percy: *Thinking* Every single time he comes along…never gets any funnier.
Mr. Weasley: *yelling* Ron! You don’t get girls like that!
George: (to Fred) You have to give him credit. I would’ve never thought to use a summoning charm like that…
Harry: ‘Why am I not in this Caption Contest? What’s wrong with you, Eric? The entire series of books and movies are named after me! So where am I?!’
Ginny: Dad, I don’t feel so good about this…
Mr. Weasley: Oh don’t worry Ginny, I was scared my first time too! You are kind of running straight into a brick wall…
Ginny: No, I mean going to school … What if people make fun of me because of my Hand-Me-Downs?
Mr. Weasley: Well, whatever you do, don’t go to Ron! Harry’s the one to go to… and if you get a chance, ask him for a couple of Sickles while you’re at it–He’s made of money!
And, without warning, in came the Red-Heads!
Mr. Weasley: Alright, it’s nearly midnight… get ready…
Ginny: What are we going to do, Dad?
Mr. Weasley: Well, at midnight we’ll charge into the store. While Harry is hounded for autographs, the rest of us can get our hands on Book Five, pay for it, and be out of there before a line starts! Now, Ron, you‘ll be in charge of getting Harry out…
‘They want me to run into a wall?‘
Mr. Weasley: Remember Ginny, no one knows about our secret double life as superheroes.
Ginny: I know, I know!
Mr. Weasley: We’ve had quite a few scares recently. Spiderman and Wolverine both talking to Harry… Who knows what they could’ve said?! If word of this got out…
Ginny: Believe me, Dad. I don’t want anyone to know that most of my family wears tights that match the color of our hair…
‘Look! Over there! A Galleon!‘–
‘I saw it first!‘
-Diana and Rebekah Crittendon
Mr.Weasley: ‘…And when the evil spirit in the diary offers to take over your body and steal your soul, make sure to say ‘Please and ‘Thank You’!
Mr. Weasley: ‘Ah, *Sighs happily* I love the Salvation Army’s annual shopping spree…’
Mrs. Weasley: ‘Now Ginny, I don’t want you to get involved in any of these ‘raging hormones’…!’
Mr Weasley: Ginny, don’t look at the poor, homeless Muggles…
Ginny: I’m not–that’s Ron…
It’s Saturday morning and the Weasley family is competing in the ‘Shop till You Drop’ competition!
Ginny: *Thinking* My first caption, and I’m not in the same picture as Harry! Eric, this is unjust!
Mr. Weasley: Quick! Hurry up! If we don’t make it by 12:01, all of the fifth books will be sold out and we’ll never find out who dies!
Mrs. Weasley: I bet it’s you, Fred!
Fred: Honestly, woman, you’re supposed to be my mother!
Ginny: Well, it’s hardly my fault that George had to go and-
George: Excuse me! if Mum hadn’t-
Molly: Well I wasn’t the one who-
Fred: Shut up all of you, it’s obvious that Percy‘s behind this!
Percy: Who, me? Well I wasn’t trying to cause offense, but it was definitely Dad who was-
Arthur: Percy, don’t try and get out of it! Anyway, I expect it was Ron who-
Ron: Don’t be stupid, that was Harry!
Harry: I’m not even in the picture!
-Amy and Sam
Ron: Hey! Back here! I’m back here! Behind Fred…or George! No…back here! Erg! I’m a Weasley too, ya know!
Harry: Ron, you can’t be in every picture!
Ron: Harry you don’t understand….I’m the only good looking one!
Arthur: My God…
Ginny: Daddy, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore…
‘Smile, you’re on Candid Camera!’
Harry: Why are we racing, everyone?
Ron: ‘Cause the last one has to kiss Eric!
Announcer: ‘Welcome to the 5th annual Weasley Relay!’
Harry: Why are we racing, everyone?
Ron: ‘Cause the first one gets a picture with Eric!
(Ahem, ‘Anne W’…=D)