Week of July 18, 2004
I didn’t know we had Coco Puffs in the house… wait a minute… HEDWIG!
Boy, I wish cleaning could be like it was in Marry Poppins… Just snap your fingers… stupid kids… THEY got away with magic out of school…
Now… what did Delia Smith’s book say? First, separate the whites and the yolks…
Remember… ‘There is no spoon’…
Harry: *Thinking* My Alpha-Bits are spelling to me?
Cereal: EAT ME ALREADY… IM GETTING… SOGGY!
Harry felt a jolt in his stomach when he looked into his cereal bowl and realized that the remaining Alpha-Bits spelt ‘GRIM’…
Vernon: Boy, don’t eat all the food – there won’t be enough left for the fourth movie!
Harry: What’s it matter? You’re not in it?
Vernon, Petunia, Dudley and Marge: *Gasp*
Announcer: ‘And now back to Potter’s Kitchen, where he’s cooking up the luscious ‘‘I-Will-Kill-Lord-Voldemort-If-Its-The-Last-Thing-I-Do” Stew!’
‘It takes TWO bowls of Raisin Bran to equal the zinc in Total!’
Marge: Hmm, now where did Ripper get off to?
Harry: *Smiles* Anyone for seconds?
Harry: Oh my gosh! The garnish on the dinner is talking to me!
‘Garnish’: That’s right, Harry, you’re a parsleytongue!
Harry: *Gasp* It’s an omen! My Alpha-Bits have spelled out a message, saying ‘Ooooo’!
The Part of Harry’s Brain That Speaks in Hermione’s Voice: Those are Cheerios, stupid…
Harry: Hehehe…. Just wait until Aunt Marge finds out what I left in her casserole… Ton Tongue Tuna! *Muahaha!*
I’m a little wizard, long and lean,
I hate the Dursleys; they’re very mean.
If I get all cranky, I will break a cup,
And if they insult my parents, I’ll blow Margie up.
Double, double, toil and trouble, turn Aunt Marge into a bubble…
The Harry Potter Guide to Making Your Own Pensieve…
Harry: ‘But… I don’t like green eggs and ham…’
Alphabet Soup: *In bowl* Tom Marvolo Riddle
Alphabet Soup: *Arranges itself* I Am Lord Voldemort
Harry: *Thinking* What Dudley doesn’t know… can’t hurt him.
‘Let’s see…. Eye of Newt, Toe of Frog… but where does the hedgehog come in?’
Harry: *Thinking* Wow… the cereal turns the milk chocolate… it’s just like MAGIC!