Week of October 17, 2004
Dumbledore: What do you think it is, Argus?
Filch: I don’t know, Sir, it just says ‘Property of Warner Bros. Filming and Lighting Dept.’ on the side…
Dumbledore: ‘Mirror, mirror, on the wall, whose hair is the best of all? Mine, Filch’s, or Mrs. Norris’?’
Dumbledore: I’m a little teapot…
Filch: Short and stout…
Dumbledore: Here is my handle…
Filch: *Hold up Mrs. Norris* Here is my spouse!
Dumbledore and Filch do an impression of people who only saw the PoA movie, not read the book, when told that Remus is Moony, Sirius is Padfoot, Peter is Wormtail, and James is Prongs.
Filch: I don’t believe it!
Dumbledore: Neither do I!
Kid in Background: All right! The Spice Channel is working again!
Dumbledore: ‘What do you mean the hair tie isn’t meant for my beard?!’
Little does the Hogwarts Student Body know the fantastic duo ‘Argus and Albus ‘is the only magical band to rival ‘The Weird Sisters’
Mrs. Norris: Got milk?
Dumbledore: Argus, did she just say ‘got milk’?
Filch: Yeah. She’s mistaken your beard for a milk mustache.
Filch: Would you look at that?
Dumbledore: I know!
Filch: Never would have thought…
Dumbledore: Me neither!
Mrs. Norris: Oh, for Pete’s sake! I can do better than that with my claws!
‘What? Are you saying we’re too old to be trick-or-treaters?!’
Dumbledore: What happened, Mr. Weasley?
Ron: It was him, Sir, the one they all speak of… the one with the long black hair, spooky eyes, and crooked nose! He was here, Sir! Michael Jackson was in the boy’s dormitory!
Dumbledore: My dear Lady, who did this to you?
Fat Lady: He’s here somewhere, Headmaster! The one they all talk about! The one who keeps changing and moving things from how they were in the books! Alfonso Cuaron!
Filch: Hide it! She’s coming!
McGonagall: Albus! I thought you knew better! Using the Time Turner to go back to the 70’s just so your clothing would be in style again!
Batman and Robin: 50 Years Later.
Man: *Dressed like an escaped convict* ‘Sirius Black isn’t loose in the castle! You’re on the Jamie Kennedy eXperiment, and you’ve just been X’ed!’
Announcer: ‘Welcome to The Swan. This session, we’ll be taking old men and making them look younger.’
Filch: Headmaster… it just can’t be possible…
Dumbledore: It is true, Argus… we have run out of Chocolate Frogs…
Dumbledore: Sweet Merlin! What are those paintings doing to each other?!
Filch: I don’t know, but it’s sure gonna take a whole lot of paint thinner to clear that mess up!
When the people in caption pictures finally realize that they’re being watched.
Fat Lady: ‘…and that, gentlemen, is where babies come from…’
Both Filch and Dumbledore wondered why anyone would put up such a strange painting on the walls of Hogwarts. Only Mrs. Norris realized that they were gazing into a mirror.
Filch: Look, Dumbledore!
Dumbledore: *Reads wall* The Chamber of Secrets has been opened. Enemies of the Heir, Beware…
Filch: What’s that say below it?!
Dumbledore: *Reads* Buy more cat food.
Mrs. Norris: *Grins shyly*
‘Dude, Where’s the Fat Lady?’ Coming Soon…
Educational Decree 98
Rules of the Caption Contest
1. Try to keep them short, unless they’re Eric’s.
2. Don’t mention Eric…. Drat!
3. The Hufflepuffs do not have a common room.
4. You are not allowed to submit anything to the effect of ‘Can you believe it, they didn’t pick (Insert Name)’s caption!’ ever again!
Apparently, the Masons weren’t the only ones who heard Uncle Vernon’s golf joke.
A cheer comes from all the Dumbledore/Filch shippers.
Dumbledore: ‘We decided to adopt, though I must admit I’ve never heard a baby meow before…’
Instead of a caption picture this week, MuggleNet decided to do a Hidden Pictures. Things to find: An orange dog looking down, two stars of the night sky, and a cat.
Albus Dumbledore and Argus Filch watch in horror as they gambled the entire Hogwarts fortune away in Game Seven of the Yankees/Red Sox series.
Dumbledore: Argus, do you think that if we stare at the Caption Contest viewers it will creep them out?
Filch: I hope so…