Week of October 31, 2004
Harry: Now I know why Ron and Hermione’s dots were so close together…
Harry: *Pokes the ball of light* Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?
Harry: Oh, right. Well, are you a good faerie, or a bad faerie?
Tinkerbelle: Keep poking me, kid, and you’ll find out…
Harry: *Grumbles* ‘If another moth flies into my wand, I’ll scream!’
‘Okay. With this bright light, nobody will see me. They will be too busy looking at it!‘
Harry: *Singing to Snape* Yoouu… light up my liiiife…
Harry’s Blair Witch Project Moment
Harry: ‘And tomorrow, looks like cloudy with a chance of rain. High 78, Low 56. Look for higher temperatures later in the week.’
I AM HARRY JAMES POTTER
HE MARRY A SMART PIE JOT
JAM IS A MERRY PORT HATE
I MAY STOP METER JAR RAH
I HATE MY PORT JAR SMEAR
A MARE IS JET RAM TROPHY
Harry’s attempts to duplicate Tom Riddle’s writing spell always resulted in frustration.
Headlines: Harry Potter’s Secret Affair with Tinkerbelle – Revealed!
Harry: E.T. Phone Home…
Marauder’s Map: Mr. Moony would like to announce that you’re in the wrong movie…
Picture: Put out that light, boy!
Harry: Light? I love light! Seeing it? Are you kidding me?! It’s so bright! What kind of lottery did my eyes just win?! And it’s free! Don’t even get me started! *Blinks* Whoa!
Old Navy Announcer: The effects of feel-good fashion…
Harry failed to make the Hogwarts Chorus, despite his added flair to ‘This Little Light of Mine’.
Harry: How long do I have to keep this stupid look on my face for?
Wand: Shut up! For once I’m in the spotlight!
Harry: How come my wand lights up like a torch and Hermione’s just glows like a candle?
Harry: ‘Let’s see… who’s on the map? There’s Sirius Black, escaped murderer, Peter Pettigrew, supposedly dead guy, and later there’s Barty Crouch, disappearing man. Oh, sure, Fred and George. Lots of fun, this map…’
‘Hmm. According to this Magical Creatures Field Guide, this species of fairy explodes into gigantic balls of fire when prodded with short, pointy sticks. I wonder if that’s true?’
‘Oh no! It’s the new Fanfic section of MuggleNet! Keep away, evil shippers! Keep away!‘
‘Darn it! Why couldn’t this be a lightsaber instead?!’
Harry: H.P. phone home…
Cuaron: Spielberg’s vandalized the script again, hasn’t he?
Harry: Dang Fred and George’s ‘Moon-Finger Chews’…
Map: Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs proudly present: The Marauder’s Easy Charm for the Lost Wizard.
Harry: Ah, good!
Map: To conjure up a guide who will take you back to a place you recognize, please do the following: Stretch out your wand hand, say our foolproof charm firmly and clearly, and within mere seconds your guide will appear. The charm is ‘SnapeIsAnUglyGit’.
Harry: *Recites* SnapeIsAnUglyGit!
Snape: *Behind Harry* Ahem…
Map: Have a nice day!
Snape: What are you doing out so late, Mr. Potter?
Harry: Practicing for a power blackout, sir…
Snape: But we don’t use electricity.
Harry: Darn! That was my best excuse!