Week of November 21, 2004
Trelawney: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?
Harry: *Thinking* If she’s hoping for the mirror to say ‘You, Trelawney’, she’s in for a serious disappointment!
At Trelawney’s Choir Concert.
The Choir: *Singing*
Saturn and Jupiter have formed a funny angle
Dark haired boys are at risk of being strangled!
It’s been raining for days, and rains never lie
Someone in glasses will certainly die!
Tea leaves have spoken, can you bear the truth?
If you have a scar, you will perish in youth!
Harry: *Storms out*
Trelawney: Oh, dear, was it something I said?
Trelawney: ‘…7…8…9…10! Oh, found you, Harry!’
Trelawney: Wait a second, Harry. If I stand like this, do you think I look like a teapot?
Harry: *Thinking* Maybe if I don’t make eye contact, I can slip away…
Dumbledore: ‘…And the next entry for my annual Pull A Face Like Trelawney Contest: Harry Potter!’
Divination End-of-Year Exam.
Trelawney: How many fingers am I holding up, Harry?
Professor Trelawney: Harry, I see blond hair in your future.
The 20th Century’s Norman Bates and Mary Loomis.
Trelawney: See, Harry? This is how we do the ‘Man in the Box’. Now you try!
Harry: *Thinking* Why did I ever sign up for this mime class?!
Harry turned away in shock and revulsion. Evidently, the aging potion Hermione took had not gone as well as planned.
Trelawney: ‘Am I fuzzy for dramatic reasons or something?’
Ron: *Humming the Jaws Theme*
Harry: Cut it out, Ron! She can hear you!
Harry: What was that, was that the Grim?
Trelawney: Don’t be silly, boy. Everyone knows there’s no such thing as the Grim. It’s The Management you’ve got to watch out for.
From the producer of When Harry Met Sally comes the sequel: When Harry Met Sybill.
Prof. Trelawney: Come on, Harry! Do the Robot!
Harry: This is how I’m supposed to get extra credit?!
When Harry finally got a girlfriend and moved out of Hagrid’s, he really got more than he’d bargained for.
Trelawney: ‘Free prophecies, Harry! Every hour on the hour!’
As Harry turned away in disgust, he realized that his magic See-Through Glasses weren’t such a good investment after all.
Most Muggles missed Trelawney’s finger surprise when the film was played in real time, but thanks to the power of freeze-framing, we can all enjoy her thoughtful gesture time and time again.
Trelawney: ‘I predict – no, wait, you don’t need me to tell you! Just log on to the Theories Page on MuggleNet!’
Harry looks into the eyes of all the Caption Goers and dares them to make a Harry/Trelawney shipper joke.
Harry/Trelawney Shippers: Yay!
Everyone Else: That is SO wrong!
Trelawney: ‘Well, today he actually looks like death!’
In an attempt to further increase his popularity, Dan adopts the mournfully startled expression worn by Elijah Wood throughout much of the Lord of the Rings.
After deciding that being The Boy Who Lived wasn’t enough, Harry decided to become a soap opera actor.
Draco: *Voiceover* A new fragrance from Gladrag’s Wizardwear…
200 centimeters away, the boy called Harry Potter woke with a start.
‘You mean Aunt Marge isn’t going to be in Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade?!’
Trelawney: Look, boy.
Trelawney: There… *points*
Harry: *looks* What’s there?
Trelawney: That’s where you’ll find your destiny.
Harry: Okay… *starts forward, advancing to the curtains, and then stops* But… what is my destiny?