Week of September 25, 2005
Harry: *Fakes an injured arm* Oh, Ginny, it hurts real bad!
Ginny: What can I do?!
Harry: Well… I’ve heard kisses have healing powers…
Slytherin Statue/Harry: Hi! I’m Salazar Slytherin.
Ginny: Wow, Harry! You’re such a brilliant ventriloquist!
…And as the water swirled about the boat and deposited him and Ginny on the floor of the Chamber of Secrets, Harry realized what an awful shipbuilder he was.
Harry: I think Snape is the Half-Blood Prince…
Ginny: If that’s true, then Lockhart can fly.
Lockhart: *In background* Amazing! This is just like magic!
Ginny: It’s Lord Moldy Shorts!
Harry: …Without the shorts…
Ginny: *Sees Harry land and sings* ‘It’s raining men! Hallelujah, it’s raining men!’
Harry: ‘Look, Ginny, I know you come from an old wizarding family and all, but… on our next date, could we go without the giant snake chaperone?’
Ginny: Harry, you’re going to have to kiss the dead basilisk before you could be with me!
Harry: Ginny, I can’t be with you until the 6th book! You know that…
Ginny: You’re in love with her, aren’t you?!
Harry: With who?
Harry: After what that woman put me through?!
Fawkes: *Swoops in*
Ginny: We’re saved!
Fawkes: *Catches fire*
Harry and Ginny: Darn…
Man: *In background* ‘Uh, honey, I shrunk the wizards…’
Harry and Ginny are about to discover the horror of Slytherin’s monster…
Harry: Aaah! It’s a herd of meese! Run away!
Ginny: *Running* I thought the plural of moose was moose!
Harry: *Running* Is that really the issue here?!
Harry: ‘Hey, I finally fit in somewhere! I match the diary and the shadows in Slytherin’s eyes!’
Harry: Ginny, is that what I think it is?
Ginny: No, it can’t be….
Harry: But it is!
Ginny: It’s an entire WALL with Dumbledore’s face on it!
Harry: Imagine how much we can make for this on eBay!
Harry: Ginny? Doesn’t Fawkes remind you of one of those Pokemon characters?
Ginny: Wow, yeah, he does!
Tom Riddle’s dairy, and Harry and Ginny together alone. Wow, the HBP spoilers just seem to write themselves these days…
This is what happens when Hogwarts’ musical production of Cinderella is attacked by giant snakes….
Riddle: Visage Pixilatum!
Ginny: We don’t belong on Crimewatch!
Basilisk: *Off screen* …*Gapes*
Tom Riddle: *Off screen* …*Gapes*
Ron: *Off screen* …*Gapes*
Fawkes: *Off screen* …*Gapes*
Sorting Hat: *Off screen* …*Gapes*
Gilderoy Lockhart: *Off screen* …*is unclothed* WHAT!?
Harry and Ginny slowly look up at the giant electronic billboard that reads: ‘GINNY, WILL YOU MARRY ME?’
Ginny: Harry … I don’t think this is the best of times, let alone places, to start a game of marbles…
Harry: Oh, come on Ginny! Just ONE game!
Ginny: *Raises eyebrows Isn’t this a wrong time to ask me out, Harry?
The Muggle game ‘Spin-the-Bottle’ soon became the party game of choice for wizarding teens, though they opted for the slightly different version: ‘Spin the Highly- Venomous-and-Deadly-Snake-Fang’.
Mrs. Weasley: GINNY WEASLEY! You’re entirely too young to be playing ‘Spin-The-Basilisk-Tooth’ with a boy!
Ginny: Aw mom. And I was just about to get to kiss Slytherin’s statue…!
Ginny: ‘Harry, the plot point is getting soaked…’
—In continuation of Danni’s caption last week—
Ginny: ?tes-vous l’impression d’une ?me partie?
Eric: …OR in French!
Harry: Ginny, are you still wearing your shoes?
Ginny: No, they’re gone! Why Harry?
Harry: Someone must have taken them- look, over there.
Ginny: What do you see?
Harry: Footprints, leading away. You know, imprints of a departed sole?
Ginny: I’m so sorry, Harry! I’m the one who wrote those horrible things on the walls. But I didn’t want to, honestly! Tom Riddle made me do it. Just look at what he forced me to write on that wall behind you!
Harry: ‘Listen to MuggleCast’?
—Continued from the May 4th-10th, 2003 caption—
Just when they thought for sure it was gone….
Ginny: Um, Harry?
Harry: Yes? …*looks back* Oh no…
Harry Potter and the Giant Green Egg that Hatched
Harry: Hagrid? What are you doing down here? What is this giant statue?
Hagrid: I jus’ wanted a snack. Tha’s no statue ‘Arry, it’s me Pez dispenser.
Upon hearing that Mrs. Weasley found them both, Harry and Ginny had to come up with an excuse why the two of them were together in a wet creepy dungeon…
Harry: ‘We’re canon now… it’s okay!’
Ginny: Wow! What an epic battle! You just killed that thing like nothing!
Tom: *runs in* Sorry I’m late! Let’s match the power of Harry Potter against Lor- … …*sees dead basilisk* Mr. Slythers? NOOOOOO!
Harry: ‘…Soooo…. how ’bout them Yankees?’
After Tom Riddle was defeated, Salazar tried to lighten the mood a bit.
Slytherin: Sooo… How ’bout them Red Sox?
Ginny: ‘Well… the tooth fairy’s gonna have a field day.’
Harry: *to Tom Riddle’s memory* Hello. My name is Harry Potter. In a future you’re not aware of, you killed my parents. Prepare to come as close to dying as a seventh part of a soul can come.
Ginny: Do we REALLY have time for this?
Ginny: You really know how to pamper a girl on dates, Harry…
Harry: what? You said you liked adventure and mystery!
Harry Potter and the Extremely Dangerous Miniature Golf Course