CC #218: Week of May 20, 2007


Harry: *Eagerly* Are those the new girls’ uniforms?!
-Lauren


Jack: We have a special delivery from Lord Voldemort to Harry Potter.
Harry: That’s me.
Blonde Woman: It was sent by charge, please pay 20 Galleons.
Harry: Here you go. *Pays*
Red-Haired Woman: Thank you, sir. Here is your special delivery.
Both Women: *Slap Harry*
-Michael W.


Harry: Ginny! Hermione?! What kind of cruise did you go on?!
-toomanycurls


Harry: I have the looks, the charm, I’m the Chosen One, I’ve defeated the Dark Lord several times… what is it about him that all the girls like? It’s not fair!
Jack Sparrow: It’s all in the hat, Harry, it’s all in the hat!
Harry: I have a wizard’s hat, if that helps..
Ladies: *Eyeroll*
-Natasha


Jack: ‘Rrright, ladies! Now, let’s go through the plan again, so… we appear inconspicuous, silent and aloof! We get Lockhart’s signature and we scram! Got that? We scccrrram! We don’t want to be seen in a bookshop when we ought to be aplundering and adrinkin’! Arrr!’
-E.W. Jupp


Captain Sparrow: Hey, you! You’re from Hogwarts, right?
Harry: Yes, why?
Captain Sparrow: Be sure to tell everyone there that releasing the giant squid into the sea was not a good idea…
-P. Ruiz


The Battle of Summer Blockbusters Begins:
Harry: Oh, it’s ON.
-Roxanne


Andrew: *In disguise as Jack Sparrow* Could I interest you ladies in a FREE PicklePack membership…?
Harry: *Mumbling* Darn pirate… stealing my last DA members away… grr!
-Beth


Jack: ‘You need to get yourself a girl, mate.’
-Celia


Jack: A wizard, eh? Tell you what, mate, I’ve changed my mind. If you make me a rum bottle that’ll never go empty, I’ll swear on pain of temperance, I shall take you to the Dark Lord – *looks at his small cup of rum* – And I’ll even give you a bony lass, savvy? *Smiles and pushes Scarlett into Harry’s arms*
Harry: ???
Jack: Like them red-haired, don’t you, lad?
-Emilie


Harry: Jack, how do you do it?
Jack: Lots of rum, and lots of promises…
-Kelsey


Jack: Harry!
Harry: WU?
Jack: Your cell phone bill is what’s up. All this texting!
Harry: OMG, INBD!
Jack: It is a big deal! Who are you texting fifty times a day?
Harry: IDK my BFF Scarlett…
Jack: Scarlett, is this true?
Scarlett: *Slaps Harry*
Harry: TISNF!
-Maggie VB


Jack: We pillage, we plunder, we rifle and loot.
Harry: But I bet even you couldn’t portkey a boot.
Jack: Maraud and embezzle and even high-jack.
Harry: My dad did as much – so did Sirius Black.
Girls: Drink up me hearties, yo ho!
Jack: We’re beggers and blighters and ne’er do-well cads.
Harry: You sound like a house full of Slytherin lads.
Girls: Who take after all of their Slytherin dads.
Jack & Harry: Yo ho, yo ho, a wizard’s life for me!
-Helene


Harry gets jealous the day before the Yule Ball.
Harry: Why is Jack so good with the ladies? I’m the Chosen One!
Jack: Ah, quiet, Potter. It’s just that I’m hotter than you.
Daniel Radcliffe: *Getting out of character* TAKE THAT BACK!!!
-Bobo


Jack: Do you mind?
Harry: Oh, sorry. *Turns head away*
-Emzerly


Jack: The power of love! Suddenly the world seems such a perfect place!
Harry: Uh, Jack? That’s not love. It’s inebriation.
-Danielle


Jack: See, Harry, it’s the open chest that gets the ladies, not turtlenecks…
-Jillian


Cpt. Jack Sparrow: And this is how you get gorgeous ladies to fawn on you. Savvy?
Harry: Yeah, I’ve got it.
Percy: How come the celebrities always share their secrets with him?
-Aeola


Harry Potter and Jack Sparrow compete for Ginny Weasley’s heart…
Jack: I’m a pirate, Ginny!
Harry: But I’m a wizard!
Jack: I can take you on the Black Pearl and look at the sea with you!
Harry: Well, I can take you on my Firebolt and look at the Black Lake with you… we can watch the giant squid!
Jack: We can look at the Kraken!
Harry: Don’t you remember that I saved you from Voldemort?!
Jack: Well, I would’ve, too…
Harry: My life is full of adventure!
Jack: So is mine!
Ginny: *To herself* Hmm… how do I decide? I know! I’ll pick the one with the best hair! *Runs off with Jack*
Harry: Not again! Stupid haircut!
-GinnyWeezly


Jack: *To Harry* Do YOU know where the rum is?
Harry: Uh, we don’t really drink rum, but there’s firewhiskey…
Jack: Lead on!
-Beth


*Jack and Harry stared at each other, Jack considering if he could get Harry to take one of the slaps he was about to get, and Harry wondering why Jack hadn’t been slapped yet.*
-‘Milie


Jack: Goodness, mate, you’re the spitting image of your father.
Harry: …I have my mother’s eyes.
-Silwed


Harry: ‘I wish they’d stop advertising movies in bookstores. These cardboard cutouts are getting confusing… At least in the Muggle World they don’t move…’
-Kale


Harry: OMG, IT’S CAPTAIN JACK SPARROW!
Jack: Actually, I go by ‘Da Jackstah’ now that I’ve made a debut album to be sold here in Flourish and Blotts.
Harry: Oh… OMG, IT’S DA JACKSTAH!
Blonde: Do you think our dresses are too low-cut?
Redhead: You can’t go wrong with low-cut dresses!
Blonde: But still, too much of a good thing…
Harry: No one’s listening to me, are they?
Jack: Did I hear something?
-Aki


Sparrow: ‘BOW CHICKA BOW WOW!… *Girls come* Awfully handy spell, dear Harry…’
-Feenomenon


Jack: ‘It takes more than simply fame to get the ladies, Potter… you’ve got to bring sexy back from the depths.’
-Lachy


Harry: ‘Sirius? …Mrs. Weasley? …Luna’s Mom?!’
-Ryan


Harry: Ginny! Luna! Why are you fawning over Jack Sparrow! You’re supposed to be fawning over my chest and abs as displayed in Equus (copyright, disclaimer…)
Jack: Get over it, Potter. My dreadlocks are so much sexier than your parsley-mouth anyway.
Harry: It’s parseltongue!
Jack: Whatever.
-Lucerto

Eric S.

Eric Scull joined MuggleNet in November of 2002. Since that time he’s presided over a number of sections including name origins and Dear Hogwarts, but none so long as the Crazy Caption Contest, which is recently revived. Eric is a hufflepuff who lives in Chicago and loves the outdoors.