Week of May 27, 2007
Ronald Weasley Apparated through both Time and Space to prove to Hermione that he did not have the worst 70’s haircut in the galaxy. He was right.
Hermione: Ohh, shiney! *Mesmerized by lightsaber*
Ron: Oh, please… *Drags Hermione off-frame*
Ron: ‘So this is what Seamus does over the holidays…’
Ron: You want me to do what?!
Obi Wan: Are you here to learn the ways of the Force?
Hermione: Only the redhead… He has to if we wants to be my boyfriend.
Ron: Looks like the Time Turner malfunctioned again…
Hermione: Well, this IS defence against the dark arts…
Hermione: *Looks over at Chewbacca* ‘Crookshanks?’
Hermione: Oh no! I must have set the Time Turner back too much! We’ve traveled back to the 70’s!
Ron: Yea, well… it’s not all bad. At least my sweater is in style here!
Ron: Harry, we… uh… we think…
Hermione: We think you’ve taken this PotterWars idea a bit too far…
Ron: Yeah, ever since that priori incantatem with Voldemort, you talk about ‘The Force’ in your sleep…
Hermione: We’re just worried about you.
R2D2: Beepbop Bop Beeep!
Luke/Harry: Thank you, R2.
Ron: *Aside to Hermione* Told you he wasn’t right…
Ron: *Whispering to Hermione* What a wand!
Hermione: *Whisper* Don’t be silly, Ronald. *To Luke* Mr. Skywalker, sir? We know you’re a busy man and all, but do you think you could help us get rid of a Dark Lord?
Ron: And could I play chess with the yeti?
Hermione: That’s the last time I travel the Floo Network with you, Ron! How could you accidentally say ‘another dimension lightyears away’ instead of ‘the burrow’?!
Ron: Sorry! I’ve got this really bad cold…
Luke: Did you know that lightsabers can cut through anything?
Hermione: Except another lightsaber… or Ron’s thick skull.
Ron: Yeah, it can cut through anything except… hey!
*One of Chewbacca’s pieces has just smashed one of R2D2’s*
C-3PO: That’s totally barbaric!
Ron: That’s Galactic Chess.
Hermione: All I’m saying is that the way you people treat these droids is despicable… buying and selling them like they aren’t even people.
Ron: Well, Hermione, you know droids aren’t people?
Hermione: First you make fun of S.P.E.W. and now you’re mocking S.P.D.W.?!
Hermione: Society for the Protection of Droid Welfare!
Ron: Just don’t be surprised if knobby little hats start showing up.
Hermione: The Force is strong with this one.
Ron: How do you know?
Hermione: I read it in a book once.
Ron: Hm.. maybe I should go Jedi… then I could wear those white robes.
R2D2: *Beep beep boop bee boop*
Ron: What did he say?
Luke: He agrees, and says that your sweater is really tacky.
Hermione: *Adoringly* You know what they say about guys with long lightsabers… *Sighs*
Ron: *Scoffs* Yeah. Shorter arms.
Luke: ‘What do you mean the Dark Lord doesn’t use Light Sabres anymore! All this training, wasted!’
Ron: So this guy’s just invented an eklectic fishing line? Wicked!
Ron: Bless you.
Luke: Welcome, welcome. Are you hunting down a dark lord or simply want to shut someone up who you can’t stand?
Luke: Why don’t you step over here and try out our newest product, the Avada Kedavra Stick. No more worries about casting the spell. All you need to do is press this nifty button… and it makes a cool vrooshing sound, too! Batteriesnotincluded. *Puts thumb up, smiles, and winks*
Ron: I’d rather join the Dark Side than wear that skirt!
Luke: I would too, rather than wear that tight shirt!
Hermione: *Pointing to R2D2* Ohh, look, a different spieces of elves, I’ve simply got to help them!
Ron and Luke: *Together* Hello, we are discussing our attire here!
Hermione: I know, I’ll call it R2-SPEW2!
Ron: *To Luke* I’d rather join the Dark Side than join R2-SPEW2…
Luke: Right on!
C-3PO: Finally, some other beings from Britain!
Luke: Not if I can help it!
Luke: ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO! ACHOO!
Obi Wan: He’s allergic to wizards, plaid sweaters, dorky clothes, nerds, and Weasleys.
Hermione: In short, he’s allergic to Ron.
Obi Wan: Bingo.
Obi Wan: I have felt a great disturbance in the Force as if a million voices suddenly cried out and then were suddenly silenced.
Hermione: Don’t worry, that’s just the people who forgot to pre-order a copy of the final book.
Hermione: *To Luke* I’ve read all about you! you’re Luke Skywalker, offspring of Anakin and Padme Skywalker. You grew up on Tattooine with your uncle after your father was seduced by the Dark Side, later finding your own sensitivity to the Force, a web of energy that in theory connects everything to the universe. Furthermore, your twin sister was separated from you at birth – what? Haven’t either of you read Star Wars: A History? Honestly, Ronald…
Luke: My Dark Side is better than your Dark Side!
Ron: Our Chosen One is better than your Chosen One!
Luke: My sidekicks are better than you guys!
Hermione: Our lead actor is cuter than your lead actor!
Mark Hamill: *Stepping out of character* Oh no you didn’t!
Luke: So, tell me more about this Snape guy.
Ron: Well, when we were eleven, he introduced his class by saying ‘I can teach you how to brew fame and bottle glory. Even put a stopper in death.’
Luke: WOW! That sounds like what my dad wanted to do! But that was a long time ago, in a galaxy far… far away…
Hermione: Wow! Very impressive!
Luke: Thanks, I –
Ron: *Cutting him off* Yea yea yea! VERY impressive, look bud, I don’t care whose son you are! There will be no more of this impressing MY girlfriend!
Hermione: Er, do you know when Han will be finished with the Ford Anglia’s repairs?
Ron: Mum’s going to send an intergalactic Howler, I just know it!
Hermione: Wow, Luke sure is handsome!
Ron: What? He’s wearing leggings, a dress, and tall boots!
Hermione: Well, you’re wearing a girl’s sweater and carrying a purse…
Hermione: Can’t you see the similarities? Baby abandoned to Aunt and Uncle, grows up into a dorky kid. Old bearded guy running around giving advice, someone called the Dark Lord. Something mad and hairy on the loose. A best friend/sidekick with a mullet…
Ron: And a hot girl to make up a trio…
Hermione: The parallels are uncanny.
Ron: OMG, are you Harry’s sister?!
Hermione: Who’d’ve thought it? That vault in Gringotts wasn’t a vault, but a dimension-transcending portal that’s thrown us into different universes. We’ll have to go through the story of each movie to get out.
Ron: Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?
Hermione: Well, Vader, the Emperor, the Death Stars and the Carbonite should be relatively easy, although after that IMAX fiasco there is no WAY that jumped-up little princess is getting me to go to Jabba’s palace! No, the hardest thing’ll be trying to endure the inevitable comparisons between ourselves and The Jumped-Up Little Princess and *squee* Han Solo!
Ron: She’s mad. What’s that green glowing thingy?
Hermione: *Rolls eyes*
Hermione: Has Umbridge brainwashed us… or should we be worried about the water?
Hermione: ‘Whose memory could we POSSIBLY be seeing?!’
-The Flying Squirrel
C-3PO: I am more than a man, and more than a machine. Come, rest. Would you like some fish, krill, greens from the sea?
Ron: Forget it, let’s just risk Carrousel…
Ron: This stinks! Harry gets an entire island named after him at Universal Studios and we get shunted to Star Tours at Disneyland!