Week of August 26, 2007
Girl: *In Background* ‘I’m not sure what’s uglier – that plant, or Longbottom’s sweater vest…’
Neville: You’re right, Mimbulus Mimbletonia, Hermione IS really pretty when she’s angry…
Hermione: *Ranting about how evil Umbridge is*
Neville: Yes, Harry, this plant is the only way I’m remembering the password right now, because it is the password!
Harry: Well I’m glad you’re remembering the password, Neville, but remember that the password changes. How will you remember the new password now?
Neville: There’s a new password?!
They would pay, they would all pay! But for now, Neville merely smiled and returned to his plots of world domination, ignoring the laughter from the couple behind.
Neville: Mr. Plant, where should we strike first? …Rome? Excellent plan, Mr. Plant. *Scribbles something down*
Everyone Else: o.O…
Luna: That’s crazy, even for me…
Neville: *To Mimbulus Mimbletoneia* ‘Brilliant! This is the third Caption Contest in a row on MuggleNet.com that I’ve been a part of. Maybe now I can stop talking to a stupid plant!’
Neville Longbottom working next to his new Mimbulus Mimbletonia-inspired lava lamp.
Neville: Yes, today in Herbology class, we have a pus-filled cactus, called the Mimbulus Mimbletonia. Yes, it is actually quite a peaceful plant…
People in Background: There he goes again acting like he’s the herbology teacher. *Starts sniggering*
Neville: I heard that! And how do you know I’m not just making lesson plans for about 21 years in the future?!
People in Background: Sure, you keep on telling yourself that…
Neville: What do you mean ‘illegal substances’? It’s just my mimbulus mimbletonia…
Muggle Police Officer: Yeah, like I haven’t heard that one before.
Professor Sprout: Oh, Neville, what amazing specimen do you have for us today?
Neville: It’s called an Audrey Two…
Neville plays ‘Operation’ with a completely different gameboard and set of rules.
Neville: ‘What do you think? Should I go for the funny bone next? Or the spare rib?’
KID TELEVISION SPECIAL REPORT:
Introducing, the fifth Teletubbie, Mimbly Wimbly!
Accompanying him, is the recently found replacement for Mr. Rodgers, Matt Lewis. Please note the shortening of the famous sweater to a sweater VEST.
It certainly IS a beautiful day in the neighborhood!
Neville: Hey, Ron? I was just about to sign some kid’s copy of Deathly Hallows, and they wanted me to sign it ‘the BAMF.’ What’s that mean?
Ron: What do you think it means?
Neville: Maybe ‘Bright and Magical Friend’? I dunno…
Neville looked defiantly around the room as if daring them to judge him for his herbisensual tendencies…
Snape: Mr. Longbottom, what do you get when you mix powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood?
Neville: Your MOM!
Unbeknownst to many, Neville was a big fanfic writer. He shipped Boy in Background with Girl in Background and Mimbulus Mimbletonia with Plastic Cup.
Neville: ‘Pepperming Chocolate Chip, thanks… 23? No, 24 scoops, please. Whipped cream? No, thanks, I don’t want to appear greedy!’
Harry: *Off-screen* Hey, Neville, what’s that?
Neville: This is my predictator primbletonia. It’s gonna help me in divination.
Harry: What does it say happens in Book 7?
Neville: Let me see… I see you and Ginny Weasley together forever.
Harry: Well that’s ridiculous. *Walks off*
Plant: Yes, boy, yes, you SHALL be important to the series quite soon… all you have to do is feed me the Potter boy…
Neville: Anything! Anything!
Nineteen Years Later…
Prof. Longbottom: Hullo, James… what can I do for you?
James: Er – hi, Professor, er –
Prof. Longbottom: Yes?
James: Er – M-mum er, mumsendserluv.
Prof. Longbottom: What was that?
James: *Flustered* Mum er – *sigh* Mum sends her love.
Prof. Longbottom: *Smiles* Thanks, James. Give her a kiss for me, won’t you?
Scorpius Malfoy (Background Kid): Hahaha…
James: Shut it, Malfoy. You’re the one that got sorted into Gryffindor.
Neville: *Thinking about Hermione*
Her eyes are as brown as a fresh pool of mud,
Her hair is as wavy as oceans.
I wish she was mine, She is truly divine.
The girl who helps me in Potions.
Neville: *Thinking* What rhymes with ‘Mimbulus Mimbletonia’?