Week of October 5, 2008
McLaggen: ‘Dude… have you looked at yourself?’
Ron: ‘SOX RULE!’ *Headbutt*
Announcer: And now, the kid who looks really handsome will face-off with the kid who looks like a complete dork…
Ron: Ha, they think you look like a dork!
Harry is instructing fellow schoolmates of his in the latest session of sidekick practice.
Harry: All right. For today’s lesson, we’re going to try something different. Heroes, you will swap with your sidekick, to the person on your right, and we will resume the scenario tactics exercise from last week. Now let’s swap!
Ginny, originally with Hermione, scrambles to Harry’s side. Ron, after giving Harry a sad glare, sulks over to the next guy.
Ron: Hi, I’m —
Guy: –You’re a Side Kick. You should be seen, not heard.
Ron: Look, I’m sorry, but the reason I’m on the team is because I can save more goals, so it makes me special, like Special K. And speaking of Special K, what happened to Regular K? And, if Regular K is still going, where is it, because I have not seen it anywhere. So I decided to go with Total. It is healthy and good for you.
Cormac: …Do you even listen to yourself speak?
Ron: Meh, I drift in and out.
In continuation of Livs’ caption last week.
Rupert Grint: So, we both know the movie is delayed until July, right?
Freddie Stroma: Right.
Rupert: And no one’s left standing around waiting around for the movie, right?
Rupert: And you remembered to tell Dan about the movie delay, right?
Freddie: Righ-wait a minute. Uh-oh…
McLaggen: Hey, I was wondering if I could shoot you out of a cannon? You’ve got the *perfect* hat for it.
Ron: Canon? The movies don’t usually use ‘canon’ too much for my character… sorry.
It was at that moment that Ron realized whenever McLaggen said ‘As you wish,’ what he really was saying was ‘I love you.’
Ron: Sorry, McLaggen. The chances of us becoming the new Harry/Draco are unlikely.
Cormac: *Heartbroken* But why?! I can sneer down at you. We have Quidditch angst! Slashers love that, right?
Cormac: Hey, Ron, you’ve got to be the most pathetic Keeper in Quidditch history!
Ron: Oh yeah? Well – er, guess what? Um… Well, last week you know what was in my Happy Meal? A chicken McLaggen! …and it sucked!
In this scene, we see McLaggen and Weasley arguing in the Great Hall about who more deserves to be Keeper.
Cormac: I’ve been training my whole life!
Ron: Well I did better at tryouts!
Cormac: So? I’m dating Hermione Granger!
Ron: I’m Harry Potter’s best friend!
Cormac: I have front-row tickets for Equus!
Cormac: Yeah, that’s right! With a perfect view!
Ron: *Backs away slowly*
Cormac: All right. So you know the rules, I suppose?
Ron: Yes, I think I do.
Cormac: No blinking. And you can’t look away.
Ron: I know how a staring contest works, McLaggen.
Cormac: All right. So winner gets Hermione.
Hermione: *Off-screen* Wait. What?!
Ron: Well, this is awkward…
Cormac: ‘Hi, I’m Cormac and over there is my twin brother, Edward Cullen.’