Featured News
CC #303: Week of July 5, 2009

CC #303: Week of July 5, 2009

Week of July 5, 2009

Fred: That’s just not natural.
George: I think you’re right, Fred. *Tilts head to the side* I’m sure when we tested that our bodies didn’t bend that way.
-Tru Harrison

Harry: …Wow, nice suits! Did your mother dress you two this morning?
Fred and George: …Yes…
-Bobby Ria

‘Hey, brown pin-striped suits work for the Doctor. And we’re ginger.’
-Blue Castle

If The Sopranos was filmed in Diagon Alley…
-Biff

Fred and George: Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes is a dead zone. Reception is horrible. Your calls are lost and you can’t get your precious emails.
Harry: Um… I have Verizon Wireless.
Fred and George: Oh, that’s cool. *Walk away*
-muggle:)

Fred: When’d you get taller than me?
George: Guess I hit a growth spurt. *Hides bottle of growth potion*
-Butterfly Face

Fred: ‘Welcome to Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes, 80% less weird than the Willy Wonka Candy Company.’
-Sam

Fred: Have fun storming the castle!
George: Think they’ll make it?
Fred: Nope.
Both: *Pause* …Goodbye!
-rorygirl

George: Stupid Decepticon.
Fred: *Kicks it*
-Torrance K.

Fred: We got THAT rating?
George: For THIS caption?
-Megan N.

Fred: You know, in hindsight, maybe we shouldn’t have put the Decoy Detonators next to the Unstickable Glue.
George: Yeah…
-thatpotterkid

Fred: ‘Really, Harry, the pygmy puffs aren’t that strong.’
-A-ferocious-troll

The Weasley Twins opened a completely original circus called ‘The Ringling Brothers and Fred and George.’
-Mrspotter

George: Did that rat just leave droppings on the floor?
Fred: Nope, he left a brilliant joke to sell Slytherin patrons.
-Sam

George: Is that wand beating Ron upside the head?
Fred: That’s genius! Add it to our list.
-Mariaa

Fred: Come here, children, do you want some chocolate in the back room?
George: Yes, come children, we won’t hurt you!
-Holemliv

Fred: What do you reckon that is George?
George: It looks like a bad case of Bouillabaisse.
Fred: Bless you.
-Lauren Faz

Fred: When did you get taller than me, George?
George: I’m not George, you are!
Fred: Then you’re Fred?
George: No I’m George.
Fred: I thought I was George.
George: Yes, you are George.
Fred: Ok, when did you get taller than me Fred?
George: I’m not Fred, I’m George!
J.K. Rowling: Make up your mind already!
-H. Shinobi

Fred: Hello,
George: Harry.
Fred: How
George: are
Fred: you?
George: Have
Fred: you
George: seen
Fred: our
George: new
Fred: slug
George: pellets?
Harry: …
-KingofGondor

Two Brothers…one adjective…pimpin’
-Black_Dust

Guy off-screen: *Falls through floor*
George: I told you the shop needed fixing up, but you just said ‘Nooo, it doesn’t matter if the railings are messed up, the paint job is terrible and the floor is rotten.’ Now look what happened!
Fred: *Rolls eyes*
-Snuffles

Fred: Business is good, but the back’s where we’re making the real money.
George: Yeah, that’s where we’re selling the little bobble heads of you, Harry.
-Dobby

Fred: Uh…George – is that your ear in the display cabinet?
George: I didn’t know where else to put it!
-Pheonix

Customer: There must be some mistake. This Dumbledore doll you sold me came without clothes.
Fred: So what’s wrong with it?
-Sam

Fred: Yo mama so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone!
Draco: Yo mama so fat, when she wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!
George: Yo mama so fat, she laid on the beach and Greenpeace tried to push her back in the water!
Draco: Yo mama got you whiplashed so good, you still wear maroon even though you live on you own!
Fred: Oh, he’s good…
-Nora

Fred: ‘No, sir, Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes does not sell cold medicine–it’s a joke shop!’
-Snuffles

Oliver: Darn, James! We forgot the rest of our costume!
James: We’re never gonna get the part of the Joker without the white face makeup
Oliver: I dont think that there’s two Jokers anyway.
James: What? Blasphemy! I guess we’ll have to settle for that one movie with the twins.
Oliver: Harry Potter?
James: What? NO! The new Mary Kate and Ashley movie! They always need two smokin dudes!
-Sally H.

Fred and George: Harry, why are you so small? *Snigger*
Harry: @!#%& candy!! What’s it called?
Fred: Little Lollies.
Harry: Grr. How do I get big again?
George: Well, we do sell a product called Big Beans…
Fred:…Which you can buy for 20 Galleons!
George: If you can get to the check out. *Snigger*
Harry: @#$%&!
-Scylla

Share on Facebook0Tweet about this on Twitter0Share on Reddit0Share on Google+0Share on StumbleUpon0Share on TumblrDigg thisEmail this to someone