CC #320: Week of January 24, 2010
Week of January 24, 2010
Bellatrix: *Sees a black cat walk by them, and then a similar black cat walk by them just like the first one* Whoa. Déjà vu.
[Everyone freezes right in their tracks]Narcissa: What did you just say?
Bellatrix: Nothing. Just had a little déjà vu.
Narcissa: What did you see?
Bellatrix: A black cat went past us, and then another that looked just like it.
Narcissa: How much like it? Was it the same cat?
Bellatrix: It might have been. I’m not sure. What is it?
Narcissa: A déjà vu is usually a glitch in the Matrix. It happens when they change something.
Bellatrix: You mean the movie isn’t exactly the same as the book?!
Narcissa: I’ve never been to your house before. Where should I sleep?
Bellatrix: Well, you can either sleep in the coffin or in the bed decorated with human skulls.
Narcissa: I… don’t think I’ll spend the night.
Narcissa: I really hate to ask, but could you babysit Draco this weekend?
Bellatrix: All right. Is the ‘no torture’ rule still in affect?
Narcissa: Did I mention why I hate to ask?
Narcissa: Bella! Turn around! You are reminding me of that one scene in Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith, when Anakin (Darth Vader) is on Mustafar killing the Nemodians and we can finally see the yellowing of his eyes – the ultimate proof that a Jedi has turned to the Dark Side!
Bellatrix: You have got to STOP watching that movie Narcissa. You are freaking me out.
To kill time, Lord Voldemort and Bellatrix like to ‘Ding Dong Ditch’ ministry officials.
Bellatrix: *sings* Touched down in the land of the Delta Blues, in the middle of the pouring rain.
RandomHoodedFigure: Well, that still doesn’t explain why I’m here!
It was in that moment when Bellatrix realized this indeed was NOT 221B, London, and that she would NOT find Jude Law inside.
Man: *Opens door* Hello.
Narcissa: Hello, sir, would you like to buy some Death Eater cookies?
Bella took her guard duty seriously while her sister performed the complex spell that would allow both sisters to fit in the MuggleNet Caption Contest photo.
Narcissa: Come on!
Bellatrix: I can’t! You know I’m allergic to ugly green doors!
-Dobby and Melane
Bellatrix: Here I am, the Dark Lord’s favorite, and the best he can do for me is conjure up a rain slicker from Orchard Supply Hardware.
Bellatrix: ‘We shouldn’t have worn Gucci in this weather…’
Bellatrix: Hurry, Cissy, hurry!
Bellatrix: Because the ‘1975 tornado from Omaha, Nebraska’ is coming down ’72nd street’!
5 Magical Tips On How To Look Shifty
Tip #1: Never travel during a happy sunny day. Always when it’s raining. Night-time is also acceptable.
Tip #2: Always wear a black raincoat- not orange or lime green.
Tip #3: Constantly look behind your shoulder as though you’re paranoid someone is watching.
Tip #4: Cover your face with as much of your hood as possible, so people can’t tell who you are.
Tip #5: Snape kills Dumbledore.
Narcissa: Do I really have to do this?
Bellatrix: I triple dog dared you. You know the consequences if you don’t.
Narcissa: FINE. But I’m gonna put my hood up. Maybe they won’t recognize me?
Bellatrix: I think they’ll notice a girl running their bathroom yelling, ‘I can see your wand!’
Narcissa: Gullible’s written on that wall over there.
Bellatrix: He isnt going to answer
Narcissa: Yes, he is.
Wormtail: *Opens door* You’re not the pizza delivery guy! *Slams door.*
Bellatrix: Well, that was a waste of time.
Narcissa: Tell me about it.
*Narcissa knocks on door*
Snape: Who’s there?
Narcissa: You know.
Bellatrix: No you idiot, its Bellatrix and Narcissa!
Bellatrix: Cissy, why are all those people filming us knocking on a door?
Nerissa: Because, Bella, they are obviously filming a documentary on doors.
Narcissa: Why doesn’t he answer the door? I need to go to the bathroom!!
Bellatrix: Just go there, Cissy. I’ll keep watch.
Telegram from Warner Brothers Board of Directors to David Heyman:
HP costs high. Cut expenses on wardrobe. Thank you
Bellatrix: Why are we standing here in the rain? Why can’t we just apparate into his house?
Narcissa: Because that would be as polite as knocking the front door down. We have to give our fellow wizards the possibility of denying us entry. Besides…
Bellatrix: *Knocks down the door* HEY, SNAPE! ARE YOU GOING LET US IN OR NOT?
Narcissa: Come on, Bella, what is it?
Bellatrix: Cissy, who is that man in sunflower yellow dress robes with a strange gold symbol around his neck?
Narcissa: I don’t know, but it probably isn’t a major plot point in the next book.
Bellatrix: Yeah, you’re probably right.
Bellatrix: ‘I can’t say I really know Severus, but I’d never picture him as a Mini Cooper kinda guy…’
Bellatrix: ‘Quick, Cissy, before Tim finds out I’m in a movie he’s not directing! He doesn’t approve!’
Narcissa: Frog Mouth says what.
Having initially mistook the purpose of the iPad, the Black sisters try to sell their slightly used devices.
Bellatrix: Why must we always wear black when visiting Snape?
Narcissa: It’s a zoning regulation built into his wards…
‘Let us in, Snape! We’re wearing leather and it is going to get ruined!’
Bella: ‘Hurry up, Cissy! Remember that your cheap hair dye runs when it gets wet…’
Bellatrix: I’m soaking out here! Are you sure this is the right house?
Narcissa: Yep. I can even see Snape inside laughing at us.