The Department of Mysteries: Definite Articles: (More Predictions for Book Six)
by Bob Sindeldecker
I have received lots of e-mail about my editorial I PREDICT! Most thought the article was pretty sharp, but some accused me of making ‘Wild-Assed Guesses.’ Okay: here’s one that takes far fewer chances – a ‘Definite Article,’ if you will. Some of these ideas are things that will almost definitely happen, based on the first five books; some are easy to extrapolate based on what went before; and the rest are my own ‘Mild-Assed Guesses.’ I have put them in story order as much as possible, so it reads like the next book.
Order Turns to Chaos at the Dursleys. This is a pattern that never fails: everything is all nice and clean, just the way Vernon and Petunia like it, then something happens to ruin their peace. And it always involves Harry. The only question is, how will Jo Rowling top a Dementor attack? Maybe with…
A Visit From Tonks, Moody & Co. Hey, they said they’d come round if they didn’t hear from Harry for 3 days. And if they don’t, you can expect Moody to be quite… erm, moody. And Tonks, well, she’s just an accident looking for a place to happen – in a house filled with electronics…
Aunt Petunia Will Open Up. She did a little in OotP. Expect to find out even more this time, perhaps due to the stress of having her house invaded by freaks and weirdos.
We’ll Find Out More About Dudley. Like what horrible thoughts came forth when the Dementors attacked him. He might even have a girlfriend – they say love is blind…
Harry Will Get Away from the Dursleys Before July 31. Remember what Hermione said? “Really soon, Harry.” Like, 3 days after he arrived maybe? As Dumbledore said, he doesn’t have to stay very long at the Dursleys’ as long as he returns just once a year. How long is “once?”
We Will Visit the Burrow Again. After all, it’s been a whole book and we love that place. Something tells me the Order won’t be able to use 12 Grimmauld Place anymore with Sirius gone. They might not want to – not with Kreacher running around. Actually, this is one of the things that has me wondering the most. But I am sure we’ll return to the Burrow.
We Will Find Out Who Won the House Cup In OotP. Don’t say it was Gryffindor. They won the Quidditch Cup, yes, but they only had 240 points at the end of the year, as far as we know… unless more were added at the Leaving Feast. Actually, I’m kind of glad JKR left that scene out, as it would have seemed trivial after Sirius’ death. Harry didn’t want to go to the Feast, and so we didn’t go either. But we still want to know.
Events of the Summer Will Be VERY Important. Again, this fits the pattern. Summers have grown progressively more involved; this time I wouldn’t be surprised to see it take up a third of the book. Notice too that the summer events JKR concentrates on are those in the Magical World, not at Privet Drive. Thanks, Jo, for that.
Fudge And Umbridge Will Both Be Sacked… And Will Blame Harry. Yep, yep and yep. Wizards will get rid of Fudge for incompetence. And of course Fudge’s Number Two, Umbridge, will also get the sack. But will they humbly blame themselves for their failings? Heck no. They know the REAL reason people despise them is that they were sabotaged by someone else… and the best candidate is Harry Potter.
Harry Will Spend His Birthday Among Friends. For the first time ever. Will it be his best birthday ever? Maybe. But it will be tinged with sadness, because …
Harry Continues to Mourn for Sirius. As Cho could not forget Cedric, Harry cannot forget Sirius. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear Sirius talking in Harry’s head – just Harry’s imagination, but a comfort nonetheless.
With Sirius Gone, Lupin is Even More Important to Harry. He is Harry’s only link to his parents. Expect them to have at least one long conversation about James and Lily, which means …
We’ll Learn More About James and Lily. I would especially like to know more about their families (Harry’s relatives) and what they did after Hogwarts. Auror school, naturally, but what about their social lives?
Viktor, Fleur, Bill, Charlie, Bagman and Karkaroff All Return. Let’s see, Viktor is Ron’s romantic rival (Ron thinks). Fleur and Bill are an ‘Item.’ Bill and Charlie are Weasleys. Bagman has been absent for one book but his status is still unresolved; ditto for Karkaroff. All this makes for plenty of subplots (maybe too many). Are you prepared for a 1,000 page Harry Potter novel? I am. 🙂
Wormtail will return. And we’ll find out where he’s been. As if we didn’t know.
We’ll Learn the Names of Other Death Eaters. New ones in OotP were Jugson and Mulciber, but we’re not sure if they were in Azkaban. If they were, there are 3 more fugitive Death Eaters who haven’t been named. If Jugson and Mulciber were in the Circle at the end of GoF, there are five Azkaban Jailbirds still unknown to us. How much you wanna bet they’ll be important?
We Will Visit Number 93 Diagon Alley. That’s Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, you know. Expect this during the annual end-of-summer shopping trip. Which also means…
We Will Meet Mr. Lovegood. Why? Because Luna is important, and really, so is he. He already published Harry’s interview, remember. Jo likes to introduce peripheral characters in this part of the books, so no doubt they’ll run into Luna and her dad in the Alley or the Leaky Cauldron. That’s good, too, because …
Harry is Pressed for His Story… But Will Only Talk to The Quibbler. What is one of Harry’s finest traits? Loyalty. Don’t expect him to talk to The Daily Prophet. He’ll be faithful to The Quibbler, and the Lovegoods will profit handsomely. This, in fact, might get Luna closer to Harry, thrilling all you Harry/Luna (wor)shippers out there. Whether that gets serious, I don’t know.
Ron And Hermione Will Have Prefect Duties. Remember, they had to go do Prefect stuff on the train. Expect JKR to use this time to get Harry closer to other friends of his – Ginny, Luna, Neville, and some more we haven’t seen (or haven’t noticed) yet.
Hermione Will Become More “Motherly” Toward The Younger Students. We saw a little of this in OotP, with her protecting them from Fred and George. How much do you wanna bet Malfoy torments some ‘Gryffindor Firsties,’ and she makes him pay? Beware the mama bear, but especially beware a powerful young witch with mama-like feelings!
Ginny and Colin Become Prefects. Why? Well, they are the only Gryffindors we know who will be 5th Years in Book 6, plus they are friends of Harry’s. It stands to reason Dumbledore will do what he can to help Harry, and this will help him quite a bit. It is good to have Prefects on your side.
Harry will Take Potions. Surprise! Yes, Harry will take Potions. He has to, to become an Auror. Now you may have thought, “Snape would never pass him on his O.W.L.s!” Right – but Snape did not administer the O.W.L.s, did he? And with no Snape to mess him up, I’ll bet Harry did ‘Outstanding.’ You know Hermione did well too. Ron, maybe. The question is, did Draco?
Harry Will Not Take Divination… At Least, Not from Trelawney. In fact, we might see a bit of jealousy on Trelawney’s part, faced with a REAL diviner (?). Even Lavender and Parvati may leave her, because…
Firenze Will Teach Divination. I suspect Harry might actually want to take this class, as he is already a friend of Firenze’s. If he doesn’t, he will at least see and speak to Firenze once during the term.
New DADA Teacher… Who Will Not Be What S/He Appears. This is another pattern; the new DADA teacher always has a Big Secret. By the way, did you know “Dada” was an art movement in the 1920s? “Dada” is simply “Yes, yes” in Russian. The name was chosen because it is nonsense, and Dada art tried to be nonsensical. What is Jo trying to tell us?
DA Will Continue. If the new DADA teacher is any good, s/he will allow this. If s/he is no good, the students will need to continue it anyway. Either way, DA rocks on.
S.P.E.W. Will Continue. Hermione is one of those people who just knows she is right, so don’t expect her to give up. It could actually become a major point of contention, not only among students but among the House-Elves. Subplots, subplots, get yer subplots here…
Katie Bell as Quidditch Captain. We don’t really know much about Katie, but she seems to be a year ahead of Harry. As senior member she would be the logical choice for captain. Unless the team elects…
Ron as Quidditch Captain. This is quite likely, given his performance last year. Less likely due to his performance but WAY likely due to his importance is …
Malfoy as Quidditch Captain. We can count on this as a sure bet, because it is perfect for the story: both Harry and Ron would hate it, so it adds tension. I’ll bet Draco didn’t do too well in his O.W.L.s – as Snape intended – but he’ll get to be Quidditch captain to appease his father – also as Snape intends. Hey, wouldn’t it be great if he ended up like Marcus Flint and had to go an 8th year?
New Quidditch Players. Alicia and Angelina have left, so they need to fill 2 slots. I think the guys they got as beaters (Sloper and … ??) might be replaced, so that’s four. Whomever they get, those people will be important minor characters. I also suspect they might need a new Seeker because…
Harry May Not Play Quidditch. I said this before, and I still think it may come true. Harry has a lot on his plate, much more than James (or anyone) ever did. What with teaching DA and needing to practice it a lot himself, he may not have time for Quidditch. Either way…
Harry Will Draw Closer to His DA Chums. Fighting dark magic will be his top priority, so DA will be his main thing, and DA members will be his main companions. Expect it to be a lot more popular, especially since Harry himself is a lot more popular now. Oh, didn’t you know? See…
Harry Will be A Lot More Popular. After all, he was vindicated, and The Daily Prophet is now on his side. We can expect lots of attention from girls he never knew, lots of jealousy from girls he does know, and lots of resentment from other boys, especially Malfoy. And that means…
Matters With Cho Will Remain Unresolved… At Least On Her Part. Harry seems to be over her, but is she over Harry? Bet not. That would be too easy. She’ll be jealous, because…
Harry Will Be Quite the Ladies’ Man. After all he is 16 now, very popular, and you know how teenage girls care about being popular. (To you teenage girls who resent this: I didn’t mean you, I meant that shallow skank you hate.) Now that The Daily Prophet likes him again, all the girls will like him too, including ones who aren’t influenced by the Prophet, like…
Luna Lovegood. Sure, you may be a Ron/Luna (wor)shipper, and I also agree they’re going to be a couple. But this is a teenage novel – so there has to be romantic conflicts and strained friendships. So even though I think Luna will end up with Ron, I think she will start with Harry. And why not? She helped him tremendously in OotP, and they can both see thestrals.
More People Will Learn to Say The Name.Voldemort, Voldemort, Voldemort. And speaking of Voldemort…
Voldemort Will Continue to Invade Harry’s Mind. After all, he never learned Occlumency, not really. So…
Harry Will Study Occlumency Seriously Now… OR WILL HE? Seems like he should, and certainly Dumbledore will want him to, and Hermione will pester him to… but the story is more juicy if he doesn’t. I suspect love will be Harry’s best defense against Voldemort’s intrusions, anyway. As Dumbledore said, “it was your heart that saved you.”
Grawp Will Be Mentioned. This brings up an important point: can Grawp see thestrals? I’ll bet he’s seen someone die, having lived among giants. Maybe Grawp can be “tamed” by introducing him to some of the animals in the Forest. Like a Hippogriff, because…
Buckbeak Will Return to Hagrid. Who else does he have? Not Kreacher. Beaky might even be important to the story again. Maybe. But for sure he’ll be back.
Christmas at the Burrow. And why not? It’s high time! After spending several Christmases at Hogwarts and one at Chateau Black, Harry really needs some off-time at the Burrow… and so do we. Especially because sometime in those two weeks…
Harry Will Tell His Inner Circle About the Prophecy. I may be going out on a limb here, but I don’t think so. So far, quite a few significant things have happened over Christmas. Story-wise this is a time when nothing much else can happen, so it’s a good time for exposition. Speaking of which…
Rita Skeeter Writes Again. After all, her year of silence is up… was up, in fact, at the end of Fifth Year. She will probably have written something during the summer. In fact, she will probably capitalize on her connection to Harry… and Harry might benefit from this too. Or not. If she does meet him again it will probably be in Hogsmeade, which means…
More Intrigue in Hogsmeade. You’ve spotted this pattern, surely? Every time they go to Hogsmeade there is always skulduggery afoot. Sometimes it’s the Trio – meeting Sirius, meeting Rita, etc. – and sometimes it’s more serious – the spy in the Hog’s Head, for example. Whatever happens, expect a surprise later on that started with events in Hogsmeade. You’ve been warned!
Dobby Will return, and He’ll Be Quite Helpful. Obviously.
Harry Draws Closer to Firenze. They’re already friends, and Firenze is wise. For this reason, Harry might take Divination. The important thing, though, is that Harry is Firenze’s only friend in the castle. That we know of. Or maybe there is someone else. I strongly suspect that…
Snape Will Turn Out to Have Been Firenze’s Gay Lover. Think about it. Jo Rowling despises intolerance. Book 6 is intended for 16-Year Olds, and that suggests more mature themes. If Harry gets closer to Firenze that would also give Snape another reason to hate him, so it’s perfect story-wise. And remember Bertha Jorkins? “I saw him kissing Florence, and he hexed me.” Firenze = Florence in Italian. And who do we know that likes to hex people? Then again, maybe…
Snape Had a Crush… On James? Speculating that Snape might be gay, I wondered if he might have had a crush on Harry’s other parent: not Lily, but James. Now that would really hurt: he’s everything you want, as well as everything you want to be. And you’re a teenager so you cannot be open about your feelings. Love turns to hate. It’s the most common story in the World, and one of the saddest. This would be perfect, too, for all those fanfic writers who want various characters to be gay. Most of that is fun and games. This would not be.
The Portraits Will Again Play a Vital Role. Not much more to be said there, except…
Phineas Nigellus Will Keep a Watch On Number 12 Grimmauld Place. If the Order cannot use it, I suspect the Death Eaters will. He may even be able to push his way into the other portraits. I suspect Mrs. Black will be quite pleasant once “proper” wizards are around.
Gryffindor Wins the Quidditch Cup. This always comes toward the end, as the last match comes toward the end of Second Term. No doubt Ron will save the day again, possibly stealing Harry’s glory (or not, if Harry doesn’t play). But then…
A Sudden Crisis Will Call Harry Away from Normal Life. As usual. And as usual, it will involve someone Harry cares very much about, Who, I will not speculate, but I am sure…
Voldemort Will Make His Appearance. You know it. And just as likely…
Voldemort Will Learn the Entire Prophecy. This is a guaranteed plot point. Even if it proves to be useless to him, he will have to know. It may also be true that…
We Learn What The Partial Prophecies Meant. You know the ones. When Bellatrix Lestrange tried to summon the Prophecy recording out of Harry’s hand, she knocked over two others and they shattered. One said, “At the Solstice will come a new …” and the other, ” …and none will come after.” They probably refer to Harry – we may find there are a BUNCH of Prophecies that refer to Harry – but we’ll definitely find out for sure. Then…
Fawkes Will Help Harry at a Critical Moment. Amazing, that bird. Got kind of a psychic connection, it seems. Which makes sense if you read mine and Esther Kleinig’s article on that subject. But despite Fawkes’ help…
Someone Dies. You knew it was coming. Again, I won’t speculate as to who. It doesn’t have to be someone close to Harry, but I’ll bet it will be.
Ginny, Colin and Luna Sit for O.W.L.s. They are Fifth Years, after all, and thus…
Cho and Katie Sit for N.E.W.T.s… OR DO THEY? I am a bit confused about N.E.W.T.s. Do you take them at the end of Seventh Year? If so, Fred and George missed theirs. Or do you take them at some other time? Either way, I think we’ll be seeing the last of Cho in this book, and good riddance.
Jailbreak From Azkaban. This seems mandatory if we are to see these villains again. They cannot hurt Harry (much) while they’re locked up. I put this at the end, but it may just happen over the summer, or anytime during the year. Whatever suits the story the best.
Dumbledore Explains It All in the End. This is probably where we’ll find out about Snape’s lost crushes, as well as have other mysteries explained. It always is, you know. This leaves nothing else to happen in the story, except…
Harry Returns to Privet Drive. As he must.
Oh Yeah – And…
We Find Out Who Lion-Man, McClaggan and the Half-Blood Prince Are. Duh.
