CC #311: Week of November 15, 2009
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Fred: And this, Harry, is our newest product.
George: We especially had you in mind when we developed it.
Harry: What is it? Does it have anything to do with the coming battle?
Twins: Umm… no. It makes you taller.
Harry: …Thanks *pockets*
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Harry: ‘I don’t know, guys. I think the whoopee cushion worked better than this new whoopee rock you’ve invented.’
Fred: And this, Harry, is our newest wicked invention!
George: We can chuck it at anyone who we see snogging our sister –
Fred: -and the git will immediately burst into flame!
George: And, while we’re on the subject, exactly what are your intentions towards Ginny?
Fred: Just one of these puppies in her tea and a woman will do ANYTHING for you. ANYTHING.
George: It works. How do you think we got our sales reps?
Harry: Thanks, guys. But I don’t think that is the kind of Christmas that Gin- uh, I mean, this particular friend had in mind.
Fred: This, Harry, is the new instant darkness condom.
Harry: How does it work?
Fred: You see this, Harry? It’ll make you tall enough to reach the table without a booster seat!
Harry: I hate you.
Harry: So, what’s that?
Fred: This, Harry, is a little piece of your brain.
George: We extracted it when you were sleeping one night and made clones. The fangirls love it.
Fred: Oh, so I see you found our shrinking pill, Harry.
George: Did it taste all right?
Harry: What? I haven’t eaten anything since breakfast!
Fred & George: …
Fred: And this little trinket here is caled Voldaway!
Harry: A what?
George: A Voldaway! It keeps Voldemort away from you!
Harry: You know, you could have given this to me in Year One itself and saved J.K. Rowling the trouble of writing till the end of Book 7.
Fred and George: We know!
Fred: They said that when Snape becomes headmaster, pigs would fly.
George: Well, Swine Flu!
Harry: ‘Eternal Writing Potions? So my literary life doesn’t ever have to end if I make Jo drink this?’
Fred: This is Instant Darkness powder, Harry.
Harry: What’s so cool about it?
George: The powder is everything…
Fred: All that once was, and all that will be…
George: The powder controls space and time…
Fred: Love and death…
George: The powder can see into your mind…
Fred: The powder can see into your soul!
Harry: *Awed* Can the powder really do all that?
Fred: Heh, no.
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